TheGameFanatic1 29 day.agoSo a Japanese, English, and Australian man are captured by a group of cannibalsSo a Japanese, English, and Australian man are captured by a group of cannibals when out in the jungle. The cannibals' leader says "We will make jackets from your skin, but we shall let you choose how you'll die." So the Japanese man asks for a katana, and stabs himself in the heart. The English man asks for a pistol, and puts it to his head. He says "God Save the King!" before pulling the trigger. The Australian man asks for a plastic fork. Confused, the cannibals give it to him. The Australian man starts stabbing at himself in all directions for nearly 5 whole minutes. Before bleeding out, he says "Fuck your stupid jackets!"
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Wife 2: Where's Billy, your handicapped husband? Wife 1: Damn-it, I think I left him in the shower. Wife 2: You showered him today? That's not like you. Wife 1: Oh no, sweetie. We had to throw out our bath mat, so I stood on him during my shower; cheaper than a new mat.
Via the equator.
Steven Paddock got a 7 kill streak, and this deployed an attack helicopter. The second helicopter came after he got a 9 kills. You should be grateful he just wanted to shoot people didn't use the Tactical Nuke after he got 25 kills. People talking about conspiracy theories clearly don't understand how kill-streaks work. It was only one guy, he just got the choppers from kill streak rewards.
"What was that?" snapped my wife. "You herd."
Shadow Raid.
A good start.
They die in tunnels.
don't expect the coronavirus to last it was made in china
"Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
He was too far out man ✌🏽
She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box
Personally I think it’s the Jew because he had pennies in his pockets but then again, the negro stole them. Plus, chains make you heavier.
A Necrofantasia, of corpse!
Jacob looks down, then he looks up and shyly adds, "They also had gold teeth."
Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows
It’s a real fucking shame because I now have nothing to wish for.
Kurt Cobain killed himself
None, they just form a support group,'People living in Darkness'.
A falling star
Died in a nasty accident
Or if you want to be politically-correct about it, I have an autistic son.
...you have to chew on it a while to get the full effect...
All of them!
A fucking Moron
Choked because a cookie was stuck in his throat after seeing the gas bill.
Like bitch that's a BIB
That's just how it was on the sugar plantation.
Sherriff said it was the worst case of suicide he's ever seen.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline. If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership. If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names. If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
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