Joker King - find funny jokes from here.

So their husband can scratch it off on at their wedding to see if he won a gas station, hotel, or a convenience store.

"Neighbor" OP:u/paszdahl2 in r/ImGoingToHellForThis

A man had been locked up in prison for 10 years. He finally gets out and only has $10 to his name. He decides that he wants to go to a whorehouse with this money (because the men are separate from women in prison). He gets there and speaks to the lady up front and asks her if there is any whore he can get for $10. She tells him about one that only costs $5, so he gladly accepts, pays the money and heads to the woman's room. He gets in there and they exchange a few words before fucking. The man says out loud, "Man this is the worst sex I've had before in my life, it feels like sandpaper." She replies by telling him that she can fix this for an extra $5. He gives her the cash because he might as well and she heads to the bathroom for a few minutes before coming back out. They start going at it again and he says, "Man this is the best I've ever had, what'd you do in there?" To which she replies, "For an extra $5 I peel off all the scabs."

Because it's wong

Mine's more important and I don't give a fuck if she has one.

It doesn't need cleaning yet.

A tourist.

I hate playing monopoly with my dad

She says, "No, I'll go deaf." He says, "Funny, I always cum in your mouth and you never shut the fuck up." [source](http://www.sickipedia.net/j/Sex%20and%20Shit/Wife/58304)

Racism has many faces.

It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

/r/blackfathers

You can hide, but you can't run.

Two Pakistani Families are trying to immigrate to the USA. Trump says sorry, we only have room for one family, so what we're going to do is let both of your families live here for 1 year, and after that year, whoever is the most American can stay, the other has to go back. So a year goes by, and both families are waiting in the hallway of the government building awaiting their meetings. The one dad goes up to the other and says: "I think I have you beat friend, this morning I went to Dunkin' Donuts, I have a favorite baseball team, and I even enrolled my son in football! I don't think you can get more American than that." The other dad just looks at him and goes: "Fuck you paki."

"Here comes the airplane!"

Things didn't really go their way last time someone said "gotta catch 'em all"

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

Ask your parents.

Baked beans

Both have tricked men out of their money with a passable tranny.

Being fingered by Captain Hook.

It's only useful when you fill it up with liquor and pass it around at your bachelor party

Tell a woman she is fat and she'll always remember because an elephant never forgets.

In the late 15oo's, Muslims invented the condom from the intestines of a sheep. In the 1700's, the English improved on the idea by removing said entrails from the sheep first.

...and approaches the black bartender and says, "Hey nigger! Get me a beer!" The bartender says, "That is very disrespectful. How would you like it if someone talked to you that way?" The white man says, "Well I don't know, how about we switch places and see?". The black man says, "Hey cracker, get me a beer!" The white man says, "Sorry, we don't serve niggers here."

santa goes down the chimney

Because it’s the only day black people can afford things

As a man walked pass her she started crying. The man asked, "Whats the matter, dear?" The girl replied with "I've never been hugged before." So the man hugs her and the girl starts crying again. The man asks "Whats wrong now?" The girl replies with "I've never been kissed before." So the man kisses her and the girl starts crying yet again. So the man asks, "Whats the matter now?" The girl replies with, "I've never been fucked before." So the man picks her up and throws her into the ocean and says "You're fucked now."

The NBA