3Yolksalad 25 day.agoThe Farmers PeachesSo this farmer is going door-to-door selling peaches. His luck hasn’t held up and he’s feeling a little down as he knocks on the door of a beautiful Victorian home. A gorgeous young woman answers, wearing nothing but a thin teddy. She asks the farmer “what may I help you with, fine sir?” The farmer takes a big gulp and says “Ma’am, I’m selling my peaches. Locally grown and organic, from my own family orchard.” “Well, sir, are they as peachy as this?” as she slides her teddy to one side, revealing a magnificent breast. GULP, and a single tear slides down his cheek. “Yes, Ma’am, they are wonderful.” She slides her teddy fully off of her shoulders, revealing her entire chest and asks, “are they as sweet and plump as this?” Tears begin rolling down his cheeks as he replies, “Oh Yes, Yes they are!!” As her lingerie hits the floor, she asks, “and are they fuzzy and juicy as this?” Bawling, tears rolling, teeth chattering, he cries out “YES, Oh God yes!! They are MAGNIFICENT!!” The young woman grabs her meager bit of clothing to cover herself, screaming at the farmer, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU FREAKING OUT??” The poor farmer, reduced to sobs and sniffles, looks up from his tortured demeanor, and tells her, “The spring storms took my barn, the floods took my crops! The drought of summer dried up my wells and took my animals!! And pneumonia stole my wife…”. As she begins to say how sorry she is, he continues to”AND NOW…I’m going to get fucked out of my peaches!!”
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It's not big and it's not clever.
He sent out his spastic son to dribble into my soup.
As long as you're poor
Cappuchemo
Misspell "Epstein."
Furry in a hurry.
Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
So they can beat the crowds
She didn’t see anything wrong with it.
They don’t know what a full house is.
The bartender says, "Get the fuck out!"
"I think it's because they could actually ask for it themselves," he answered.
I mean what part of MEANjokes don't you get?
a space chimp.
You can’t use a phone when it’s dead
You can unscrew a light bulb
Maybe they just want each other to shut up.
Because their was a gust of wind
He threw money in the chamber’s
Take your knee off the back of his neck
Snacky
Hopefully it doesn’t crash on me
I thought it would be a piece of cake!
The comments were disabled.
Horses give you a better ride.
Twix
One day I didn’t have a lot to do so I wanted to play Watch Dogs 2. (first you have to understand that the main character is black) After a while playing, I was getting busted by the police and then I got killed after a while of running Then I said in my mind: Holy shit, just like in our actual times.
Not only do they leave more girls for us, they take another dude with them, and the girls give us lesbian porn.
Skidmarks
Put floss over their eyes.
more jokes Here waiting for you
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