ElieAJ21 17 day.agoI was tickling my little brother's feet, then my mom shouted "Stop! Stop! Wait until he's born!"Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
They’re both just fucking assholes
It only takes one to ruin an entire neighborhood...
The bullet actually comes out of the chamber
"Wait until he's born"
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
I don’t have to pay my mum 100$/hour to call me retarded
Because they can't get past their masters
trans kids actually kill themselves
The Americans saw a bat and made Batman. But those motherfucking Chinese made fucking soup.
/r/MeanJokes
I told her we used names now.
My girlfriend is into some really strange roleplay when we have sex. She always insists on pretending to be 14 years old. I don't get why, she'll be 14 in a couple of years anyway Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHYYYY!!??". Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead" A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it. Q: What's the best part about dead baby jokes? A: They never get old. Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race. /// Q: What's the difference between Jews and Santa Claus? A: Santa comes down the chimney Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? A: A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it. Q: What do black people and bikes have in common? A: They stop working when you take the chains off Q: What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? A: Fitting in. Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: Name something commonly found in cells. Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer Q: Why do Asians have squinty eyes? A: Because atomic bombs are really bright.
"Goddamnit! The cops are here, I guess I'll have the last round for myself."
They charged me with impersonating a police officer.
The can’t stand up for themselves
Having big tits because you're fat is like having a car that's fast because it's falling off a cliff.
the police
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches
A fagguette
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
Wish me luck, my court case starts tomorrow
It takes only 1 to ruin a good neighbourhood
Walk through Africa with a cup of water
She looked surprised.
They found her head and shoulders in the glove box
The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, "There's plenty more of that where I come from." Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, "There's plenty more of those where I come from." Again everyone is rather impressed. So the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train.
The leaf, the rope stopped the Emo.
But you’re on a FBI watchlist if you donate 26
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆
