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avatar IDrinkMyOwnSemen 14 day.agoHow can you tell if someone has a big penis?

Their Tesla is still intact and in their possession and they aren't afraid to be seen in public with it.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Fat Tyrone

y'all want some good good i got Cheetos and Doritos

2. What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

3. What are your best holocaust jokes?

4. your telling me George Floyd couldn’t breathe ?

Have you seen the size of his nose ?

5. Damn girl, are you a cop?

Cause you just took my breath away

6. I'm not saying it's rough where I live but

The stores are selling Fathers Day cards in packs of five.

7. One night when I was a little boy I stayed up late to catch Santa Claus.

Imagine my surprise when he actually came down the chimney! I had a bunch of questions for him though..."Can I see your reindeer, why are you black, and where are you going with all our presents?"

8. Minneapolis is lucky that the protesters are mostly black people

Because White people always love to go into crowded places with guns and murder as many random people as possible whenever they feel they've been wronged by society

9. When my beloved cat died, I wanted to bury him in my garden with a little shrine of remembrance, to celebrate the years of happiness and companionship he gave me so selflessly.

But it was pissing down, so I just flung him in the bin.

10. I'm going to convert and become a Muslim.

When I die I want to go out with a bang.

11. Nothing says to hell with racism more than making off with a 65 inch 4k OLED HDR TV with smart functions and 8 hdmi ports.

Gotta show solidarity the blacks.

12. I just got fired from my job at suicide hotline

Apparently encouragement isn't ALWAYS the way.

13. God answer prayers of a little paralyzed boy

'No', says God

14. What is the useless skin around vagina called?

women

15. Killing black people is like saying the N-word.

They do it all the time, but get really angry when white people join in.

16. Capricorns underestimates their abilities.

Especially their ability to believe bullshit.

17. Why did princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing a seatbelt

18. Why do brides wear white on their wedding day?

You want the dishwasher to match the stove and fridge.

19. Whats red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when i feed it to her.

her miscarriage.

20. Tired of mosquitoes stealing all your blood?

Simply inject poison into your bloodstream to take revenge on those annoying insects.

21. I pounded on my neighbor’s door and yelled, “Your son just ran out in front of my car and I nearly killed him!” She gasped, “I’m so sorry! He'll never do it again!” I grumbled, “I know he won’t..."

“The paramedic said he's probably paralyzed for life.”

22. My girlfriend is like my Wii

She’s been dead a few years but I still play with her

23. why did the kid drop his ice cream?

because he got hit by a truck

24. I could tell you how Minnesota cops like to arrest black guys, but then I'd have to kill you. That maneuver is a...

...knee to nose basis...

25. The Chinese coined the phrase ''It's not you...it's me"

while looking at their family albums.

26. In america, what happen when you graduate from college.

Nothing, they all die in school shooting.

27. My nerdy son was crying because his fat girlfriend dumped him.

"Never mind son." I said, "plenty more whales in the sea."

28. Prince William says taking out his contact lenses so he can’t see the audience has helped him overcome his fear of public speaking. Oddly enough...

Kate takes hers out when she has to fuck him...

29. I downloaded a PC game last night.

It was extremely boring. All my character could do was sit there quietly and try not to offend black people.

30. How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just wait and expect the white people to do it for them

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