A Pastor is at home when one of his mates drops by and invites him out to go out and do some hunting. The Pastor tells his mate, “I’m not real sure about that idea - the only place we can hunt around here is up at Old Joe’s, and he absolutely hates me.” Despite the misgivings, the Pastor’s mate manages to convince him to at least give it a go, and they pull up at Old Joe’s place. The Pastor says, “I don’t want Joe thinking I’m riding on your coat tails, so I’ll go up and ask him myself, and if he says no, then so be it” His mate agrees and waits nervously in the car while the Pastor goes up to the door. When Old Joe answers, he greets the Pastor really warmly. He says, “Pastor, I’ve been meaning to thank you - my wife came home a new woman after your sermon last Sunday, she’s stopped nagging, and she’s been really civil to me, the transformation has been absolutely incredible. Is there any way I can thank you?” The Pastor is quite taken aback by this unexpected welcome, but explains that they came in the hopes of being able to do some shooting on the property. Old Joe willingly agrees, then pauses for a second, and asks, “Hey Pastor, since you’re here, and you’ve got your rifle, could you do me a big favour? ‘Bessy’, my oldest cow that I’ve had almost forever, is really on her last legs - the vet told me I should put her down, but she’s won me so many prizes over the years. I just can’t bring myself to do it. Do you think you could do it for me?” Taken aback by the welcome, he willingly agrees. As he’s walking back toward the car, he sees his mate watching him anxiously through the windscreen, and realises his mate hasn’t heard any of the conversation. The Pastor decides to play a bit of a prank on his mate. He throws the car door open, jumps in, grabs his rifle, and says, “That cantankerous old so and so - he just called me every name under the sun - he used theological words in combinations I’ve never heard, but I’ll get him back - that’s ‘Bessy’ his prize-winning cow over there, but Watch this !!” Then aiming his rifle out the window, takes careful aim, and drops old Bessy dead. Before the Pastor can turn back toward his mate to see his reaction, there’s a second almighty bang, and his mate says, “And I just got the old bastard’s prize bull, let’s get out of here!!”
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"I think it's because they could actually ask for it themselves," he answered.
I mean what part of MEANjokes don't you get?
a space chimp.
You can’t use a phone when it’s dead
You can unscrew a light bulb
Maybe they just want each other to shut up.
Because their was a gust of wind
He threw money in the chamber’s
Take your knee off the back of his neck
Snacky
Hopefully it doesn’t crash on me
I thought it would be a piece of cake!
The comments were disabled.
Horses give you a better ride.
Twix
One day I didn’t have a lot to do so I wanted to play Watch Dogs 2. (first you have to understand that the main character is black) After a while playing, I was getting busted by the police and then I got killed after a while of running Then I said in my mind: Holy shit, just like in our actual times.
Not only do they leave more girls for us, they take another dude with them, and the girls give us lesbian porn.
Skidmarks
Put floss over their eyes.
"are you sad?"
But, by the time i was old enough, they closed the chemical testing lab in my city.
The Fresh Prince of No Air
I have muscular degeneration in my legs.
The best part was watching his eyes close before his head hit the ball.
Especially now that he had a kid and really has to dissapear.
GONErrhea
:)
Oh wait. There was a Black person in the media, I assumed he’d been arrested.
Everyone KNEEds air
She hates when I call her that.
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