A Pastor is at home when one of his mates drops by and invites him out to go out and do some hunting. The Pastor tells his mate, “I’m not real sure about that idea - the only place we can hunt around here is up at Old Joe’s, and he absolutely hates me.” Despite the misgivings, the Pastor’s mate manages to convince him to at least give it a go, and they pull up at Old Joe’s place. The Pastor says, “I don’t want Joe thinking I’m riding on your coat tails, so I’ll go up and ask him myself, and if he says no, then so be it” His mate agrees and waits nervously in the car while the Pastor goes up to the door. When Old Joe answers, he greets the Pastor really warmly. He says, “Pastor, I’ve been meaning to thank you - my wife came home a new woman after your sermon last Sunday, she’s stopped nagging, and she’s been really civil to me, the transformation has been absolutely incredible. Is there any way I can thank you?” The Pastor is quite taken aback by this unexpected welcome, but explains that they came in the hopes of being able to do some shooting on the property. Old Joe willingly agrees, then pauses for a second, and asks, “Hey Pastor, since you’re here, and you’ve got your rifle, could you do me a big favour? ‘Bessy’, my oldest cow that I’ve had almost forever, is really on her last legs - the vet told me I should put her down, but she’s won me so many prizes over the years. I just can’t bring myself to do it. Do you think you could do it for me?” Taken aback by the welcome, he willingly agrees. As he’s walking back toward the car, he sees his mate watching him anxiously through the windscreen, and realises his mate hasn’t heard any of the conversation. The Pastor decides to play a bit of a prank on his mate. He throws the car door open, jumps in, grabs his rifle, and says, “That cantankerous old so and so - he just called me every name under the sun - he used theological words in combinations I’ve never heard, but I’ll get him back - that’s ‘Bessy’ his prize-winning cow over there, but Watch this !!” Then aiming his rifle out the window, takes careful aim, and drops old Bessy dead. Before the Pastor can turn back toward his mate to see his reaction, there’s a second almighty bang, and his mate says, “And I just got the old bastard’s prize bull, let’s get out of here!!”
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"Knife to see you."
I lied it was a gas chamber
No problem says the doctor take off your underpants and lie down. He puts a glove on and lubes his fingers and slides two inside her ‘How does that feel’ he says ‘Lovely’ replies the woman ‘but the discharge is coming out my ears’
A deep thot.
…in his defense, he was sent there to get a Black and Decker.
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
"Waddup, Quacker!"
“Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”
With crucifixion they throw out the whole Jew.
God said “You’re right. Give the dumb one a cunt.”
Throw a frying pan in an Ethiopians face.
I got a couple: What was the last thing to go through Diana's mind? The stereo. Why did princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt. What do princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? The wall was their last big hit.
Abusing of your wife is just so stupid. It's YOUR wife. That's like keying your own car.
If they are under 12 just do them in your head
Polly want a Cracker
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Too soon?
Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?
For reference this is a joke from a friend, but what would you call a baby being thrown or yeeted. My friend said it’s still fetus deletus???
Duterte only talks about raping women.
It doesn't have a home page.
FANNUM IS A FATASS
It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming!
She rejects you.
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An LGBBQ.
Christopher Walken
Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Tom Cruise can’t take a joke
You know she's going to swallow
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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