He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back yard. The man goes to the yard and sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there. "Do you really talk?" he asks the dog. "Yes," the Labrador replies. After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, "So, tell me your story." The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I was sold to the SAS. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eaves dropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years". "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow Airport to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals". "Then I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired." The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. "Ten quid," the owner says. "£10? But your dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?" "Because he's a lying bastard, he's never been out of the back yard."
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Two hours, one joke.
a Japanegro
So they can see how it feels to live with an irritated cunt
must of been one hell of a salesman.
She ran away screaming.
None they beat the room because its black
Daddy’s rotting corpse
...until hunting season opens & they can fill their tags.
But if I was black I would have a wider range of jokes available hopefully people like them here
Rest in piece .
Because bitches love to bring up the past
-1
So I held her at gunpoint.
What makes them tick?
Everywhere.
No customs officer is going to anal cavity search a fat eight year old boy.
He's just been charged.
A milk sheik.
It won’t stop running.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
It's not big and it's not clever.
He sent out his spastic son to dribble into my soup.
As long as you're poor
Cappuchemo
Misspell "Epstein."
Furry in a hurry.
Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
So they can beat the crowds
She didn’t see anything wrong with it.
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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