YfAm4 11 day.agoWhat's up with Daylight Savings Time?"Daylight Saving Time. Seriously. 'Daylight Savings Time.' Where... where are these savings? I've been looking! I check my bank account, nothing. I check my couch cushions, maybe a few quarters, but no extra hours of sunshine. They say we 'spring forward.' So, is it like a layaway plan? We give them an hour now, and... what, we get it back later? With interest? Because frankly, the interest rate on that hour seems terrible. I feel like I'm losing money on this deal. And who is the bank of Daylight Savings, anyway? Is there a branch? Can I walk in and be like, 'Yes, I'd like to make a withdrawal from my daylight account please. I had a really cloudy Tuesday, and I need about 3 hours of premium, golden-hour light.' Can you imagine the customer service? 'Thank you for calling Daylight Savings Bank, how can I brighten your day?' 'Yes, hi, my name is John Doe, and I seem to be missing an hour from my balance. It just... disappeared on Sunday.' 'Ah yes, sir, that was the automatic 'spring forward' debit. It's in the terms and conditions, tiny print, scroll all the way down.' 'So when do I get it back?' 'Uh, sometime in the fall? Maybe? Depends on the market fluctuations of... atmospheric pressure and perceived leisure time.' And don't even get me started on the 'falling back.' We fall back? Sounds dangerous. Like the daylight savings bank just trips and drops your hour somewhere. 'Oops! Sorry folks, we had a little 'fall back,' we'll just... sweep this hour under the rug until next year.' It's the only savings plan I know where the government just takes an hour, promises to give it back later, and everyone just collectively shrugs and says, 'Well, I guess I'm just tired now.' I say, if we're gonna have Daylight Savings, let's open a proper account. Get a debit card. Tap to pay for extra time at the park! 'Yeah, just gonna need about 45 minutes of evening glow here, run it through the Daylight Savings terminal.' Until then, I'm still waiting for my statement. Pretty sure my balance is zero, maybe even negative."
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They're both excellent polish removers
Most of the jokes on this sub.
“Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it
He orders a beer.
All the great ones are white.
Ahmed Al Sheriah ………………………………"here" Mustafa Al Sheriah …………………………….."here" Fatima El Bindiri ……………………………….."here" Ali Acmah Shabeeb ……………………………"here" Ali Sun Al En ……………………..No answer Ali Sun Al En? Little girl at the back stands up and yells ........ "It's pronounced Alison Allen, for fuck sake !" _____ xpost - r/sickipedia
you need a parents approval to sign up
She has a separate entrance for black dick.
So Mohammed said, "my faith can move skyscrapers"
Like hunger and insecurity.
Because they're all stolen.
5 year old in my trunk
They asked for a ginger to be cast in the live action Little Mermaid movie, but unfortunately the casting director was severely dyslexic
r/MeanJokes
it's full of transfats
Susan, 31, is only 5 miles from me looks a good one...
It's fucking childish.
He goes into the kitchen and asks his mother: "Mom, can I have some chocolate?" The mother goes: "You know the rule: no arms, no chocolate" The boy starts crying and his mother goes: "I'm just kidding! Here, catch!"
An interracial couple that got what's coming to them.
A: The finish line to the Boston marathon
Gangrape
I'd have so much money that I'd probably get mugged by a black guy.
Apparently niggers wasn't the right answer.
The dog because he shuts up after you let him in.
It's called Trycoxagain.
Cause They Can’t Stand Up For Themselves.
Some black guy came up to me and said, "Nice shirt faggot, did your mommy pick it for you?" I replied, "No actually, your grandparents did."
Every time someone offers you food you fat Cunt...
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