SentientFoodTruck 10 day.agoTwo lumberjacks, Bill and Frank, are out in the forest cutting down trees.Not paying attention, Frank gets too close to the saw and gets his arm cut off. In a mad scramble, Bill wraps Frank’s arm in plastic, and rushes his dismembered friend to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank the next day, and to his amazement finds him back in tact, playing ping pong in the physical therapy area. A few days later the men are back in the woods, cutting down trees. This time, Frank loses his leg after again getting too close to the saw. Just like the last time, Bill wraps his friend’s leg in plastic and rushes him back to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank the next day, and this time to his amazement finds Frank in the physical therapy area, all in one piece, running on the treadmill. A few days later, the pair are back in the woods, sawing down trees. This time, Frank gets too close to the saw and gets decapitated. Bill, now an old pro at this, wraps his friend’s head in plastic and rushes him to the hospital. He goes to visit Frank at the hospital the next day, only to find out that his friend didn’t make it. Distraught, he asked the doctor what happened. “Well,” the doctor said, “your friend would have made a full recovery, if some idiot hadn’t wrapped his head in a plastic bag.”
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A thot process
The other 98% still live in Africa.
Because they can't defend their towers.
But when she killed herself things started to look a lot more positive.
He got an altar boy to lick her cunt.
The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... *He still hasn't unwrapped his present!!!*
Fast 10: Your Seatbelts
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
I saw a pretty girl. Finally I plucked up the courage, and asked for her number. She said "got a pen?" I said yes. She said "well get back in it you fat fucking pig".
It was having a mid life crisis
I did that and I feel much better, but I'm wondering, do I keep the letters?
They do it in schools, because they have class. *transcribed from a [deleted Jokes post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/45ekt9/white_people_dont_shoot_each_other_in_the_streets/?sort=new), because I can't find the original content*
Apparently going onto the "Kids vs cancer" page and saying "My money's on cancer every time" is frowned upon.
She just didn't have enough time to get out of the closet.
So I grabbed the crystal ball, chased the bitch down and beat her to death. I wonder what the fuck she saw in that thing.
I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
I don't hit vapes
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick
...she'd be spinning in her ditch.
After three weeks the Syrians meet again at a McDonalds. The first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practice and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it is a Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby Keith and Lynard Skynard and my favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. Beat that!" The other Syrian simply replies with: "Get out of my country, you fucking towelhead."
By putting flowers on the grave
It's easy when I have a knife.
She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
Concentration problems
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