crjsmakemecry 10 day.agoEaster jokes (not PC)It’s windy today, good thing Jesus is nailed down. What did they say to Jesus when he was carrying the cross? “Drop it one more time and you’re out of the parade.”
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
The bartender says "what will it be officer?"
i had no idea what i was doing, but dad was sure keen to show me
While kids in foreign countries bring their MP3 players to school, we bring our MP5s! ​ EDIT: We now bring MP7s. EDIT #2: We now bring MP9s! Holy shit, we really upgraded quickly! EDIT #3: Well shit, it's lockdown... hope we get an MP11 sooner or later!
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More like third reich feminism
Doctor-Whats wrong? Me-I love to help blind and mute people, I think I'm insane!! Doctor-How is that bad?? Me- I mean the adjective
Jack Daniels comes alive when you add coke.
because they have developed a taste for pepper spray.
I shouted, “My money's on the one with the knife!" You should’ve seen them both run away.
I think it's because he's got an overactive knife and fork.
I was only protecting him from a sniper. Lucky for him I saw the laser sight before the guy took one in the head.
I think it was a fitting metaphor for his company’s attitude to battery life.
Unless there are no seals around.
Your putting your kids behind bars.
They can't tell you "no."
taking the art out of rap artist.
They're afraid to get near the oven
One's a Bat Digger, and the other's a fat nigger.
Her nose is running
Because no Jewish woman will touch anything that isn’t twenty percent off.
Nothing, if you are the Pope
Contemplating suicide when a nasty old bum walked up and asked her what she was doing. "I'm going to kill myself" she said. The bum then asked "Well, if you're gonna kill yourself do you wanna have sex first?" "Oh Hell no!" the girl replied. "Fine" said the bum. "I'll just wait at the bottom then"
At the nursing home I am getting rid of evidence
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
So I'll make your HOLE weak :)
Now imagine NOT being in jail or getting shot
But then I didn't, because what if he just have a blast. You never know, and I didn't want to take any risk ...
4,000 years ago, Jewish God gave the Jews Israel as their homeland under a contract, where the terms were "If you uphold the 613 commandments of God, your homeland canbe Israel." ; The Jews broke the terms of the contract, they didn't uphold the 613 commandments of God, and due to this breach of contract, Jewish God stripped them of any rights to live Israel. When you have a Jewish God, of course you're going to get fucked over for breach of contract!
Everywhere
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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