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avatar PersonWalker 8 day.agoWhy did the belt get arrested?

It held up a pair of pants.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. I was arrested for eating Cheetos.

They caught me red handed.

2. Always love a woman for her personality.

They usually have something like ten, so you can choose.

3. They say one swallow doesn’t make a summer…

but it sure makes the evening more memorable.

4. How many incels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just sit in the dark blaming the bulb for not screwing them.

5. A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said.

“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

6. What makes a sound that goes "Clip clop clip clop clip clop BAM clip clop"?

An Amish drive by.

7. Why can't two congruent supplementary angles ever win an argument?

Because they're both right.

8. Photons move at nearly 300,000 km. per second, the maximum speed at which information and matter can travel in the universe. Why is it that they can move more quickly than any other thing in the universe?

Because they are traveling light.

9. In retrospect, the Covid-19 pandemic could have been avoided, but it’s like they say…

Hindsight is 2020

10. Can you judge the intelligence of a great ape from the way it opens a bag of popcorn?

Only if you burn yourself.

11. I’ll never forget my dad’s last words on earth!

“Are you still holding the ladder son?”

12. A young boy says to his Dad, "Dad, when I grow up I want to be a musician."

His Dad says, "Son, you can't have it both ways."

13. We'll We'll We'll

If it isn't autocorrect

14. What’s the difference between a yoga instructor, cinnamon ‘n sugar, and a friendly cross-eyed boy from West Virginia?

One’s good in bed, one’s good in bread, and one’s a good inbred.

15. How many immoral lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They use Gaslighting instead.

16. If you attend a 100 meter dash and you see/hear a starter pistol go off...

...you've technically witnessed a race related shooting

17. Split up with my girlfriend today because she couldn't bring me to orgasm.

She never saw it coming.

18. What do you call feces with muscles?

Tough shit

19. I went to see Dr. Hook when I was younger

Worst prostate exam I ever had.

20. Suspicious wife

“My wife is the most suspicious person I know,” the guy shared with a sympathetic friend. “If I come home early, she suspects I want sex. And if I come home late, she suspects I’ve already had it.”

21. A guy takes his car to the mechanic.

Mechanic asks, “What’s the problem with your car?” Guy says, “Look inside”. Mechanic looks inside and says, “All I see is a lamp”. Guy says, “Yeah, it’s a Slavic made lamp but the bulb is Native American.” Mechanic: “So?” Guy says: “It’s a Czech Injun light.”

22. I checked my mirrors and backup camera. "All clear"

And backed up over a vampire.

23. I heard a lot of Americans stopped making out.

With all the new tariffs they can no longer afford French kissing.

24. Every time I install recessed lighting, I get uncontrollably aroused

I'm fucking baffled

25. You know what prostitutes say after sex?

It was a business doing pleasure with you.

26. I take a different six figure vehicle to the job everyday

I ride the bus

27. The doctor said to his patient...

"I've got good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" "Give me the bad news first." "You have two weeks to live." "Two weeks to live?? What can the good news possibly be?" "I bowled a 290."

28. A woman filed for divorce after her husband got his foot caught under a lawnmower.

She was lack-toes intolerant.

29. Save the business cards of people you don't like.

If you accidentally hit a parked car, just write "Sorry" on the back and leave it on the windshield.

30. Me and the wife decided to try mushrooms last night.

I wasn't a fan and to be honest, I don't know what all the hype is about. However, the rest of the pie was nice.

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