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avatar WildAndFreeee 8 day.agoIf weed was legalized in Jesus’ time, Easter could have been different

He wouldn’t have been crucified, instead we would be celebrating him getting stoned.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A poem for Micheal brown

There once a thug named brown, who bum rushed a cop with a frown, six bullets later, he met his creator, and his homies burnt down the town

2. What do you call the world's shittiest recycling center?

/r/MeanJokes

3. What do you call it when a mom has twin retards?

Doubling Down

4. My girlfriend is like a good steak on the grill.

Once it starts bleeding it's time to flip her over to the brown side

5. How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

The lights out. How can you count them?

6. How is a woman like a condom

Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick

7. Racism is when you run over a black kid. Reverse racism is...

Reverse racism is when you back up over him again after.

8. Hillary and Trump are in a boat and it sinks. Who survives?

I'd say Hillary. According to Bill, she never goes down.

9. what separates people from animals?

Mediterranean Sea

10. Little Johnny wakes up one night

Little Johnny wakes up one night hearing strange noises from his parent's bedroom. He opens the door to his parents room and sees mom, handcuffed to the bed's headboard, dad ramming her from behind. Johnny screams. Dad turns to looks at him, laughs and gives mom a slap on the bum for good measure. Johnny runs away, screaming. Once dad has finished mom off, he uncuffs her. She immediately says, 'You better go tell Johnny everything is OK, the shit he just saw could scar him for life". Dad rolls his eyes and begrudgingly agrees. Pulls on his robe and heads for Johnny's room only to find it's empty. He then heads for the TV room but when he passes the guest room, he notices the door is ajar, noises coming from inside. He opens the door to look in and sees Granny on her hands and knees, little Johnny fucking her from behind. Dad screams. Johnny turns around looks at him and says "Yeah, not so funny when it's your mom huh?"

11. Say what you want about Hitler

At least he died doing the thing he loved, painting the walls.

12. Why did the Jewish kid ask for the wind direction?

To know which way his parents went.

13. The police are like a box of chocolates...

They kill your dog.

14. Black Lives Matter.

15. I saw a black guy walking down the road with a T.V. today...

and I thought to myself "hey that could be mine!", then I remembered mine was at home shining my boots.

16. What's the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

I'm not gonna leave a bag of cocaine in the car all day.

17. Yo Mama

Yo mama so slutty, she got fired from the sperm bank for drinking on the job.

18. My wife suffers from a drinking problem

My wife suffers from a drinking problem. Oh, your wife is an alcoholic? No, I am. She’s the one who suffers.

19. What do a nigger and a bike have in common?

Neither works without a chain.

20. My girlfriend came home earlier than normal last night and caught me cheating on her.

I'm not sure what she was more upset about: that I was fucking our daughter, or that the abortion clinic let me bring her home.

21. Turns out Jesus really WAS black

He lived at home until he was 30, was homeless for two years and wound up on death row

22. Retards are like Slinkies...

Not really good for anything, but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

23. They say a woman's work is never done

maybe that's why they get paid less.

24. Why are murders in West Virginia so hard to solve?

There's never any dental records and all the DNA is the same.

25. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died

26. What starts with N, ends with R, and is something you don't want to call a black guy?

Neighbor

27. When the judge asked me why I stole the newborn from the adoption center, I simply replied:

“It’s not stealing if no one wants it”

28. Due to years of drinking and drugs, Ozzy Osbourne can handle a drink

He just can’t hold it

29. What’s black on top and white on the bottom?

Rape.

30. What's the best way to celebrate a black kid's 16th birthday in America?

By putting flowers on his grave.

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