dayruined54 7 day.agoThe sparrow, the cow and the catA sparrow was once flying up north and due to the cold winds it froze up and fell to the ground. It lay there wondering if that's how it was going to die. But then a passing by cow unknowingly crapped on the sparrow. The warm dung helped the sparrow get better and in happiness it started singing. Meanwhile,a nearby cat heard the chirping and went to the spot. It cleared the sparrow out of the crap and ate the poor bird. Moral u may ask? Just because someone shat on you doesn't mean it is bad and just because someone helped u get out of shit doesn't mean their intention was good. And more importantly, no matter what good thing happens to you....u shud keep ur fucking mouth shut!
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Pepper-spray
Because it's the future.
The feather... The nigger was stopped by the rope
HIV
Well not in those words it was more like "Dad this is my new boyfriend Muhammed"
The bad ones make your asshole hurt
Walking
I feel like a kid again
...But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Optimus Crime
He wasn't invited.
so that they would also have to know what it was like to live with an irritating cunt
The New-York Jets
She replied, "That's hilarious! Why on earth would we have chosen you!?"
They leave flowers on its grave
Common sense
Does that make Trump our 2nd black President?
So their husband can scratch it off on at their wedding to see if he won a gas station, hotel, or a convenience store.
"Neighbor" OP:u/paszdahl2 in r/ImGoingToHellForThis
A man had been locked up in prison for 10 years. He finally gets out and only has $10 to his name. He decides that he wants to go to a whorehouse with this money (because the men are separate from women in prison). He gets there and speaks to the lady up front and asks her if there is any whore he can get for $10. She tells him about one that only costs $5, so he gladly accepts, pays the money and heads to the woman's room. He gets in there and they exchange a few words before fucking. The man says out loud, "Man this is the worst sex I've had before in my life, it feels like sandpaper." She replies by telling him that she can fix this for an extra $5. He gives her the cash because he might as well and she heads to the bathroom for a few minutes before coming back out. They start going at it again and he says, "Man this is the best I've ever had, what'd you do in there?" To which she replies, "For an extra $5 I peel off all the scabs."
Because it's wong
Mine's more important and I don't give a fuck if she has one.
It doesn't need cleaning yet.
A tourist.
I hate playing monopoly with my dad
She says, "No, I'll go deaf." He says, "Funny, I always cum in your mouth and you never shut the fuck up." [source](http://www.sickipedia.net/j/Sex%20and%20Shit/Wife/58304)
Racism has many faces.
It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
/r/blackfathers
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