jokeKing logo

Joker King - find funny jokes from here.

avatar lagflag 3 day.agoMcDonald’s

An elderly couple walked into a McDonald’s and sat down at a table near some young people who were having dinner. The old man approached the counter and placed an order for one meal. He returned, unwrapped the hamburger, carefully cut it in half, and placed one half in front of his wife. Then he gently counted out the fries and split them evenly between them. He placed two straws into the soda and set it between them. The old woman began to eat her half of the burger while the man just watched. From time to time, he took a small sip of the drink, but he never touched the food. People around them started to notice and looked on with quiet sympathy. A young man approached and politely offered to buy them another meal so they wouldn’t have to share. The woman smiled and said kindly, “Thank you, but we’re used to sharing everything.” Still, the man hadn’t eaten a bite. He simply watched as his wife enjoyed her meal. The young man returned and offered again. This time, the old man responded, “Thank you, but we really do share everything.” The young man paused for a moment, then asked: “But sir… what are you waiting for?” The old man smiled and said: “The teeth.”

68
5
Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. what's the big similarity between the Pokemon anime and The Diary of Anne Frank?

>!Both the protagonists are ash!< &#x200B; edit: Thanks for the shekel kind shoah!

2. A little black Jewish boy says to his daddy, "Dad am I more black or Jewish?" "Why do you ask?", says the Dad. The boy says, "Well a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I want to haggle him down to $100 or just steal it."

3. TIL There is a new drug for lesbians dealing with depression.

It's called 'trycoxagain'.

4. What’s The Hardest Part About Being A Pedophile?

Trying to fit in.

5. What doesn't belong in this list: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob?

Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

6. Girls are like black jack

I aim for 21 but always end up hitting on 14

7. I looked out of my window in horror yesterday as a crowd gathered around a crashed motorcyclist. I rushed outside yelling, "Let me through, let me through!!"

A man in the front said, "Thank god! Are you a doctor!?" I said, "No, that's my fucking pizza!"

8. How many cops does it take to push a black man off a balcony?

None, he fell.

9. What happens after Muslim couple gets divorce?

They still remain cousins

10. I can tell my new sex toy was made in china.

She speaks chinese.

11. I have an advice for those who r facing a lot of problems in life

suicide

12. How do two marines find eachother in the dark?

Very satisfying.

13. 11/13/15

Never Baguette

14. What happens when a Jewish guy with an erection walks into a brick wall?

He breaks his nose.

15. Why is there no black character in the game "Clue"?

Because then the game would be called "Solved".

16. I failed my driving test the first time around. I was driving down a country road with the examiner when a rabbit ran out right in front of the car...

I remembered my instructor said you should never swerve or try and avoid an animal, it's dangerous and you can end up causing a more serious accident. You should always just hit it and keep on driving. Had to chase that cunt for miles across the fields before I got the fucker...

17. I was on a blind date with this girl...

And I told her, being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed. She asked "what's the best way?" I said "a big knife." She laughed and said "you're funny." I said "wise choice."

18. What's the difference between Lord of the Rings and New York City

Two towers

19. My six-year-old son caught me masturbating this morning.

He said, "What are you doing daddy?" "It's called wanking," I replied. "You'll be doing this soon." "Why, daddy?" he asked. "Because my arm is fucking killing me."

20. A boy walks in on his dad in the shower.

The boy says, "Dad what's that big hairy thing between your legs?" Dad replies, "That's your sisters head, son."

21. What's the difference between Ukraine and your mother?

There's no definitive proof that thousands of Russians have entered Ukraine.

22. Barbie dolls give young boys unreal expectations

About how easy it is to decapitate a head

23. A white guy goes into a plastic surgeon and says, "I want to be a black man."

The doctor replies, "Alright, but in order to turn you into a black man, I'm going to have to darken your skin by 70%, reduce your brain mass by 20%, and add 4 inches to your penis." The white guy eagerly agrees to this and goes in for the operation. After the operation, the doctor says to the formerly white guy, "I'm so sorry... there was a mix up in your surgery notes. I ended up darkening your skin by only 20%, increasing your brain mass by 70%, and deducting 4 inches off your penis. Is there any way that you could ever forgive me?" The former white guy replies, "謝謝"

24. Last night at the party

I went to a party last night. I thought I looked pretty smart but some Jewish cunt decided she wanted to ruin my night. She yelled out over the crowd, "The '70s called. They want their shirt back!" I replied, "The '40s called. Your shower's ready." ___ (No karma for me please - the joke was swiped from the link below) http://www.sickipedia.org/racism/jew/i-went-to-a-party-last-night-i-thought-i-1181559

25. Why do Mexicans never have Sex Ed. and Driver's Ed. on the same day?

They have to give the donkey a break at some point.

26. A girl was gangraped by a group of mimes

They did unspeakable things to her

27. What’s the only Jewish overwatch character?

Ashe

28. Why is today called Black Friday?

Because everything is a steal

29. While having sex with my down syndrome girlfriend I realized something.

I'm fucking retarded.

30. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Obviously not 8 because my basement is still dark.

more jokes Here waiting for you

best dad jokesjokes for adult
Welcome to Joker King – Your Daily Dose of Happiness!

Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆