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avatar Left-Distribution-13 18 hr.agoToday I went to the library to get a book about conspiracies. There were none there…

Coincidence?

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. The FineBros should sue Chernobyl...

for reacting too much

2. Most black teenagers in this country are decent, law abiding citizens.

It's their kids who cause all the trouble.

3. Of course black people have rights.

It’s called the right to remain silent.

4. Why won't Jada Pinkett Smith and Spike Lee be at the Oscars this year?

Because they're shitty actors

5. Hitler may have killed 6 million Jews...

...but he sure as fucking hell saved the History channel.

6. What makes a girl go "mmmmmmmm"?

Duct tape.

7. It's no surprise that the Williams sisters always win at tennis...

Black people have centuries of experience serving. And appearing at the courts, for that matter. _____ xpost: r/sickipedia

8. A math teacher has sex with one of his students

How many times does 42 go into 15?

9. What's the best way to bring out your inner child?

A coat hanger

10. If I had a nickle for every time someone called me racist

Niggers would rob me

11. What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

12. My girlfriend and I went to a restaurant for dinner.

It was a nice meal and we were ordering dessert. I asked the waiter how much the pie was. "$3.14 sir." he replied. "That's funny." I chuckled. "What's that sir?" he asked. "That Down's syndrome boy just tried to hug that heater and burnt himself." We both had a good laugh.

13. After our daughter was diagnosed with cancer my wife decided to paint her entire room pink to cheer her up a little bit

It's going to make my new gym look really gay.

14. A presidential win by Bernie Sanders would truly be historic......

It would be the first time a Jewish family moved into public housing that was left vacant by a black family......

15. A woman is getting raped and says "think about my children!"

And the rapist thinks "Wow, this lady is kinky"

16. Someone asked me if I wash my dick after I recieve a blowjob.

I told them: "No, I just brush my kids teeth before I go in."

17. What's the capital of Greece?

About €10

18. Killing Black People Is Like Saying The N Word

They do it all the time but get really angry when white people join in.

19. The first time I had sex was like the first time riding a bike...

My dad was holding me from behind.

20. A black chick wakes up to find her boyfriend missing

"Holy shit! I'm pregnant????"

21. So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster...

Now it doesn't work.

22. My first high school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

It was sore and bloody, but at least my dad came.

23. So before a sermon, a priest lost his rooster...

He goes up and asks "How many of you have a cock?" And all the men stand up "No no, I'm sorry I said that wrong. How many of you have seen a cock?" And all the women stand up "I'm sorry let me rephrase that," said the priest "How many of you have seen my cock?" And all the Sunday school children stand up

24. We had a new student from Afghanistan today and my teacher told me to make her feel at home

So I threw acid in her face and called her a whore.

25. What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman

One is a superhero, the other is a command

26. What's the difference between a celebrity and a priest?

A celebrity fucks kids in Hollywood, a priest fucks kids with holy wood

27. What do women and condoms have in common?

Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

28. How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't. They arrest the light bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.

29. Today I prevented a woman from being gang-raped by 4 men.

I joined in. She was gang-raped by 5 men.

30. What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

Alien vs. Predator

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