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avatar Finrod_the_awesome 10 year.agoMost black teenagers in this country are decent, law abiding citizens.

It's their kids who cause all the trouble.

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. My girlfriend is like my Wii

She’s been dead a few years but I still play with her

2. why did the kid drop his ice cream?

because he got hit by a truck

3. I could tell you how Minnesota cops like to arrest black guys, but then I'd have to kill you. That maneuver is a...

...knee to nose basis...

4. The Chinese coined the phrase ''It's not you...it's me"

while looking at their family albums.

5. In america, what happen when you graduate from college.

Nothing, they all die in school shooting.

6. My nerdy son was crying because his fat girlfriend dumped him.

"Never mind son." I said, "plenty more whales in the sea."

7. Prince William says taking out his contact lenses so he can’t see the audience has helped him overcome his fear of public speaking. Oddly enough...

Kate takes hers out when she has to fuck him...

8. I downloaded a PC game last night.

It was extremely boring. All my character could do was sit there quietly and try not to offend black people.

9. How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just wait and expect the white people to do it for them

10. What is a black mans best enemy

Hard dogs and police officers

11. What do you get when you stab a baby 10 times?

An erection and 10 places to put it.

12. Kinder surprise eggs are good

-the German pedophile

13. Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she!

14. Pour animals...

into an oven, I'm hungry!!

15. Why can’t Aggies call 911?

They can’t find the 11 on the phone!

16. How do you make a feminist smile?

Photoshop - if you're good at it.

17. Planned Parenthood ran out of business

The guy with the hydraulic press would kill the baby for free, and he'll do ones that have already been born. He makes a lot of money, everybody loves watching a the compressed fetus goo squeezed out of the dead woman's vagina. The pro-choice finally did admit that abortion was murder, so we are now just the pro-murder movement. We love watching people be murdered by the hydraulic press.

18. Just saw two tramps hitting each other around the head with cardboard.

They were having a pillow fight.

19. When the black guy took responsibility and claimed that he was the father, I was absolutely shocked.

I really did not see that coming in "The Empire Strikes Back."

20. What’s a Nazi’s favorite part of chemistry?

When they get the final solution.

21. What are Chinese people who got arrested for saying negative things about their government convicted of?

Wongthink

22. Why can't gay men drive over 68mph?

At 69 they blow a rod.

23. What's the difference between you and an abortion?

The abortion was planned.

24. What’s the difference between a Chinese person and a group of Chinese people?

Batman and Batmen

25. I took a bus home last night.

She prefers being called big-boned.

26. What do you call the story of Sodom and Gomorrah?

LGBBQ

27. Why can’t you rape a hooker?

Because that’s shoplifting

28. Did you know Hellen Keller had a treehouse?

Neither did she

29. How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They rearranged the furniture.

30. Whats the difference between a pulse and an orgasm?

I don't care if she has either

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