usernamef4 10 year.agoWARNING: dark jokes aheadMy girlfriend is into some really strange roleplay when we have sex. She always insists on pretending to be 14 years old. I don't get why, she'll be 14 in a couple of years anyway Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHYYYY!!??". Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead" A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it. Q: What's the best part about dead baby jokes? A: They never get old. Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race. /// Q: What's the difference between Jews and Santa Claus? A: Santa comes down the chimney Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? A: A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it. Q: What do black people and bikes have in common? A: They stop working when you take the chains off Q: What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? A: Fitting in. Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: Name something commonly found in cells. Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer Q: Why do Asians have squinty eyes? A: Because atomic bombs are really bright.
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When his semen can’t find any other direction to release.
Woody goes soft when a kid enters the room
to OUCH STOP! rAPE!
A good stroke.
Read them "Little Boy Blue." ^(Works better verbally)
It’s not hard.
... I'd have $1.73
When the student in front of you gets shot, pick up their book.
I would drink it
One of them's a kak blunt, the other...
He spent a night in a warehouse.
Anxiety is the 1st time you can’t do it a 2nd time Panic is the 2nd time you can’t do it the 1st time.
I said it's for kids
They needed two tight ends and a wide receiver.
You can only go One Direction
I at least pretend to be happy in class.
The one with biggest tits!
- It’s called “The Gash Chamber”
Always be yappin'
Scratching at the inside of her coffin.
After a great game, they went for some beers and food. When they were seated in the restaurant, Clinton ordered some BBQ ribs and told the waitress a BJ joke. Obama, who had ordered a tofu burger, got all outraged at Clinton for sexualizing the waitress. Bush ordered chicken-fried steak and kept his mouth shut. After Obama forced Clinton to apologize, the waitress turned to Trump and asked him what he wants to eat. "I'll have a YUUUGGEEE T-bone steak," says Trump. "T for Trump! Medium rare!" "OK," says the waitress. "And what about the vegetable?" Trump looks over at Biden and says "Ah, Just bring him some chicken tenders and an ice cream cone."
Any dudes here who have less hair than their dad think that the name of that brand is phonetically offensive?
..until Mary stubbed her toe one day..
Because his pecker is on his face.
I don’t know but it could pick some fuckin’ strawberries I’ll tell ya!
Both use their fingers if it's under 10
“Hold mah beer and watch this!”
“Wanna come back to my place for twattails?
more jokes Here waiting for you
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