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avatar UrMumsBestFriend 8 year.agoA Muslim guy walked into a bar in Florida

A Muslim walks into a gay bar in Florida The bartender asks "what will you have?" The Muslim replies "shots for everyone"

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Do you know how to keep a racist in suspense?

2. Just started work in a record shop.

A black lad walks in and says "Got anything by The Doors"? I said "yes 2 cameras and an alarm now fuck off".

3. What's twelve inches long, purple and can make a woman scream all night?

Cot death

4. What did the gay man say to the paraplegic ?

I’d rather be a fruit than a vegetable.

5. What do u call a white guy with gasoline

A firecracker

6. What's pink and retarted ?

A flamongo .

7. The only thing I knew about Kentucky before moving here...

...they treat food recipes like sex, they keep it in the family.

8. What do you call a revolution in Africa?

Ooga Boogaloo

9. What do you call a Muslim in a pool

A bath bomb

10. My gf was all plastic

So I just burned her for good

11. How can you tell when your sister is on her period?

Your dads dick tastes funny

12. What’s red, 6 inches long and makes your girlfriend cry when you feed it to her?

Her miscarriage

13. After sex, the guy says to the girl:

'You know what? You are a better fuck than our moter' She says: 'Yes, I know, dad told me that.'

14. We have to give props to kobe

We have to give props to kobe, I mean he was the only black father to take their kids with him

15. What's the difference between your computer and your sister?

Your computer doesn't freak out when you accidentally cum on it.

16. Do you know why cops shot at the sky?

Because at night the sky is dark

17. What do you call a white bitch with a yeast infection?

Cracker with cheese

18. Smash bros player ZeRo has admitted to various paedophilic accusations

At least we know why he kept making all those child prodigy videos now

19. The language of weirdo!!!

Me and my sister were talking to my baby sister and I jokingly said”do you understand me” after talking. So my sister (not baby sister) says,“I don’t think she speaks weirdo”. So I said,”then why are you talking to her”. And she was so shocked and grumpy she didn’t talk to me for a while.

20. What do you call a left handed black woman?

A woman with no rights

21. What do Asians do during an erection?

They vote

22. Why are girls with big tiddies always so mad?

Cause they’ve got a lot on their chest

23. Abortion is good...

At least 600,000 babies per year would disagree.

24. What do you call a drunk hellspawn?

Ginger Ale

25. African countries be named 'Niger' but take offence over the N-word.

26. A black little girl runs up to her mom, crying, “Mommy, daddy hung himself in the garage!”

Her mom follows her into the basement and doesn’t see the body. “April fools!” The little girl exclaims, “he did it in the garage!”

27. Even people you don’t particularly like have the ability to improve your day

For example, when you shove them down the stairs.

28. I just found out they are putting up a theatrical production tour of George Orwell's Animal Farm.

If you missed the showing in Seattle, don't worry, you can still catch it in Atlanta, Minneapolis, NY, Portland, and More TBD.

29. "Knock knock"who's there? "It's dave" dave who?

It was then that dave found out that his wife who had Alzheimer's had progressed so badly that she forgot her husband

30. "Non-Stop Making Suicidal Jokes!!!"

"Me-Don't Worry, It'll End Soon." "Me-Ok, Ok, That's The Last One fr." Next Week- Everyone, Crying, In The Graveyard.

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