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avatar 7 year.agoPresident Donald Trump and his driver were cruising along a country road

President Donald Trump and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Trump told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. "What happened to you?" asked Trump "Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 19-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me." "My God, what did you tell them?" asks Trump. The driver replies, "I'm president Donald Trump's driver, and I just killed the pig."

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. LPT: A bullet to the head cures depression.

2. We should respect the fat acceptance movement for how unique it is.

It's the only movement without movement.

3. What does a leaky diaper and women have in common?

They both can't keep their shit together

4. Why do black people have white palms?

There’s a little bit of good in everyone.

5. I think only black people should cops problem solved. Though it would require showing up to a job, driving a car that wasn't stolen, not robbing the place where you get your doughnuts, taking drugs from people not just taking drugs and paying for stuff out of your own wallet not everyone else's.

6. Jake Paul so ugly

He's gonna come out of prison a virgin

7. Someone asked my girlfriend how deep is she?

I replied 6ft

8. What has 2016 and 2020 got in common ?

Outrage over the unjust killing of a gorilla

9. What is the difference between little children and black people?

I don't want to touch black people

10. What do gay hippies in Western countries and Middle East have in common?

They all get stoned.

11. What do you call an Asian prostitute?

Dat Phat Ho

12. What’s about six inches, pink, and my girlfriend cries when I put it in her mouth

Her aborted baby

13. How much is the real Vatican's GPD?

Nobody knows. Epstein took that secret to his grave.

14. What would MLK be called if he was alive today?

Martin Looter King

15. What's the difference between Batman and black people?

Batman can go out without robin.

16. What's the highest amount of time a black man hold his breath?

8 minutes and 46 seconds

17. Why’d do black people call why white people Honky?

It’s the last noise they hear before we run em over!

18. At school I used to bully the kid who had brittle bone disease.

Then one day he just snapped.

19. I Don’t normally laugh at jokes about dead people

But this one George Floyd Joke was so funny it literally took my breath away

20. Black lives have always mattered

They kept the cotton business booming in the 1800s

21. Midgets don't like being called Midgets.

And they really REALLY don't like being called "People McNuggets."

22. A woman who is half Asian and half muslim...

Tried to fly a plane into a building, as all muslims do, but missed and hit a parked car because she's an asian woman driver. Thank you.

23. A fire broke out at a Weight Watchers meeting today.

Members could be heard screaming, "Walk for your lives!"

24. What do cigarettes and Jeffree Star have in common?

They are both fags I would smoke

25. KFC is now really scraping the bottom of the barrel and has started a new campaign to target Downs customers.

It's window-lickin' good.

26. I just saw an Indian guy shaking a piece of carpet outside his door.

I said, "What's up, won't it start?"

27. How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just shoot the room for being black

28. I put the dishes in the dishwasher

I didnt know it could say no

29. Why are planes painted white?

so they dont get shot

30. Why are black people scared to sleep ?

Because the last black guy with a dream got shot

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