Joker King - find funny jokes from here.

You would be grumpy, too, if you woke up and found yourself at work.

Davide O. was gone but Daudi O. persisted

Boy did I look younger then!

A newly wedded couple was enjoying their honeymoon in Hawaii. They were extremely shy couple and not so experienced. But they tried to do their first oral sex. It was not so satisfactory. At last she figured it out. The bride just close her eyes, and keep saying "Honolulu" to herself. It gave the groom extreme pleasure. After one year of marriage, they tried to celebrate it with passionate lovemaaking. But she forgot the magic word. "Honey, what was the name of place when we stayed for our honeymoon?" "It was called Waikiki, dear."

Because everything is all right, all right, all right!

The college football quarterback walked into the university infirmary and asked to see a doctor. “Sure,” said the pretty nurse, “what shall I tell him is your problem.” “It’s rather embarrassing,” stammered the athlete, “but I have a massively large erection that just won’t go away.” “Oh, I see,” she replied, “well the doctor is really busy this morning, but I might be of assistance. Go to Room 2A and remove your clothes. I too am quite busy, but I might be able to squeeze you in.”

Being buried alive.

It said that it will get out of my hair

Or maybe I just didn't bury that body deep enough

Doctor, I'm going to sue you and complain to the medical board! ???? Why? Since you operated on my husband, he has no sex drive left and doesn't even approach me anymore! ???? Ma'am, I operated on his eyes with lasers.

"Hello?" "Hi! I'm calling because I'd like to join your circus. I can put on quite a show." "Ok, what can you do?" "Well, I can juggle three balls, I can walk on the tight rope, and I can jump around and tumble like a clown." "I'm sorry to say but this doesn't cut it, I already have plenty of people that can do that kind of stuff." "Oh, silly me! I forgot to mention! I'm a dog."

Man: “Doctor, I have bad news and worse news.” Doctor: “Let’s start with the bad news.” Man: “I have only 24 hours to live.” Doctor: “That’s terrible! What could possibly be worse?” Man: “I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.”

Because they just completed a 31-day march! (this is my family's traditional April Fools joke)

He had a stomach bug.

I didn't even know she was an actress

Santa told Nikki, “Never fear — just get yourself to the ho-ho-hospital and I’ll take care of things.” Santa filled out the insurance forms and claimed Nikki as his own son. A couple months after the surgery, a representative of the insurance company contacted Santa and said that after a careful review of the claim, it was going to be rejected due to a grammatical error. Santa didn't completely understand the explanation, but at least got that it had something to do with a semi-colon in a dependent Claus.

She came back after a few hours with ninety bucks and a red snapper.

...not happy.

He orders a drink (April fools).

I guess she was out of her habit!

Well, at least until the librarian told me to fucking pull it out

“if a hair piece is made of hair, what is a codpiece made of?” _’herring’_ “CORRECT” (this line of questioning brought to you by last night’s dreamscape)

Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life. She heard that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decides to go there to consult with him. After a few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wise monk. "I have spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to supporting him, taking care of him. And now he left me for a young woman. My life is stolen, and I'm left with nothing. I don't know what to do". The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it. After she finishes eating, he asks: "Is the cookie delicious?" "Yes"- she answers. "Do you want another one?" "Sure, please". The monk look her in the eyes and said "Do you see the problem now?" The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speaks. "I guess human nature is greedy. You got one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one. It's never enough. And nothing lasts forever, anything is impermanence. We should be aware and not disappointed for that". The monk shakes his head "No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less."

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it," He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." "Well," the cop answered, "you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."

Photos of her take petabytes of storage

Defence barrister: 'Will you please state your age' Agatha: 'I am 94 years old.' Defence barrister: 'Will you tell us in your own words what happened on the night in question.' Agatha: 'I was sitting on my garden swing on my front verandah. It was a warm spring evening, when a young man crept up on the verandah and sat down beside me.' Defence barrister: 'Did you know him? ' Agatha: 'No, but he was really friendly.' Defence barrister: 'What happened after he sat down?' Agatha: 'He started to rub my thigh.' Defence barrister: 'Did you stop him?' Agatha: 'No, I didn't stop him.' Defence barrister: 'Why didn't you stop him?' Agatha: 'It felt so good and nobody had done that since my husband George died almost 35 years ago.' Defence barrister: 'What happened next?' Agatha: 'He began to kiss my legs and inner thighs.' Defense Attorney: 'Did you stop him then?' Agatha: 'No, I didn't stop him.' Defence barrister: 'Why didn't you stop him?' Agatha: 'Because he made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in so many years! And I was getting so moist too!' Defence barrister: 'What happened next?' Agatha: 'Well, by this time I was feeling like I was about to explode that I just took all my clothes off, laid down and said "Take me young man, take me now"!' Defence barrister: 'And tell me, did he take you?' Agatha: 'Lord no!.....He just yelled "April Fool You Old Cow" and that's when I shot him, the little fucker.'

April, foo!

Gaseous Clay.

In his sleevies of course.

It was a real cloister fuck.