madazzahatter 7 year.agoIn a crowded city at a bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt, with matching tight leather boots and jacket...As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind and unzipped her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step onto the bus, only to discover she still couldn't! So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, still she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. With a coy little smile to the driver, she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!" At this, the Texan drawled, "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."
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God created Hitler.
I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge...
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
It can be done with a credit card fairly easily, but I prefer to use a knife
And I thought, "That seems like a reasonable compromise."
The ungrateful bitch spat it out...
He lost wifi connection
With a virus.
My dad didn’t beat cancer
I told her, being funny is the 2nd best way to get a girl into bed. She said "What's the best way?" I said "A big knife" She laughed and said "You're funny" I said "wise choice"
I'll be home in 20 minutes!
Told my mom that my girlfriend is retarded...
It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that. _______ xpost: r/sickipedia
Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
A thot process
The other 98% still live in Africa.
Because they can't defend their towers.
But when she killed herself things started to look a lot more positive.
He got an altar boy to lick her cunt.
The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... *He still hasn't unwrapped his present!!!*
Fast 10: Your Seatbelts
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
I saw a pretty girl. Finally I plucked up the courage, and asked for her number. She said "got a pen?" I said yes. She said "well get back in it you fat fucking pig".
It was having a mid life crisis
I did that and I feel much better, but I'm wondering, do I keep the letters?
They do it in schools, because they have class. *transcribed from a [deleted Jokes post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/45ekt9/white_people_dont_shoot_each_other_in_the_streets/?sort=new), because I can't find the original content*
Apparently going onto the "Kids vs cancer" page and saying "My money's on cancer every time" is frowned upon.
more jokes Here waiting for you
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