6 year.agoTwo Texas farmers, Jim and Bob are sitting in a bar, enjoying beers.Jim turns to Bob, and says, "You know what, I'm going to go to college!" He then leaves the bar and makes his way over to the local college. He is met with the Dean of Administration, who is explaining to Jim what classes he is going to take. "Alright, Jim. You are going to take 4 classes," the Dean says. "English, Math, Science, and Logic." "Logic?" Jim asks. "What the hell is that?" "Here, I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed wacker?" Proudly, Jim responded, "Yes, I do." "Well, if you own a weed wacker, then logically speaking you own a lawn," the Dean said. "Yes, yes I do have a lawn!" "Well, if you have a lawn, then logically speaking you own a house." "Yes, yes I do have a house!" "And if you have a house, then logically speaking you have a family." "Yes, yes I do have a family!" "And if you have a family, then logically speaking you have a wife. And if you have a wife, then logically speaking you're heterosexual." "Yes, yes I do have a wife and I am heterosexual! Wow, I can't believe you found out all of that just because you knew I had a weed wacker!" Jim exclaimed. "Yeah, that's what logic is," the Dean responded. Jim excitedly went back to the bar, awaited by Bob. "Bob, I'm taking 4 classes in college. English, Math, Science, and Logic," Jim told Bob. "Logic?" Bob asks. "What the hell is that?" "Here, I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed wacker?" "No." "Then you're gay."
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Probably from all the times she desserted me.
Working at the graveyard isn't for everyone though!
Carbon Dating!
If there was a soccer game between humans and bugs, the humans would crush it.
It was the teacher's pet.
But now it's starting to grow on me.
That's why they can perform Frodo synthesis.
A man with a foreign accent walked up to the front of the theatre and announced in a loud voice "Everybody please raise your hands!", over and over. People wondered what was going on but some of them decided to humor him and started raising their hands, then some more, then some more, until eventually almost everyone in the cinema had their hands raised. Suddenly power was restored and the movie continued. The patron in the seat next to him asked him "how did you do that?". He replied "As we say in my country, many hands make light work".
A chicken tender.
now they won’t leaf me alone.
FIZZician!
There was Type-O splattered everywhere.
He said "have to love Easter, baby"
Ten. You need ten ants.
It's a step by step guide
Mooslim
But unfortunately there's no Time!
A neckless.
In case he got a hole in one
It gets discharged. 🙂↕️
… are when your kids have had enough and skip the rolling of eyes altogether. They go from Dad joke to Dad choke in zero point to the door seconds.
But the broom is what swept the nation.
The photon replies, “No, I'm traveling light.”
But I came up Chort.
What’s a frog’s favorite band - The Beatles
Then I signed the letters ‘A’ ‘S’ ‘L’
I'll tell ya tomorrow!
I don't want to interrupt her.
She’s goes, “Yeah…that’s a stretch.”
I responded with “I didn’t know they could do that”
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