The first mathematician orders a beer The second orders half a beer "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2 "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous." "Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along" "There are very strict laws on how I can serve drinks. I couldn't serve you half a beer even if I wanted to." "But that's not a problem" mathematician #3 chimes in "at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function-" "I know how limits work" interjects the bartender "Oh, alright then. I didn't want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics" "Are you kidding me?" The bartender replies, "you learn limits in like, 9th grade! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics?" "HE'S ON TO US" mathematician #1 screeches Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade. The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. "FOOLS" it booms in unison, "I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA" The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. "But wait" he inturrupts, thinking fast, "if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers!" The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. "My God, you're right. We didn't think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS!" and with that, they vanish. A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. "How did you know that that would work?" "It's simple really" the bartender says. "I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative."
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
They both shake when you hold them down. (Hopefully not too offensive for this sub😅)
- I want 100 mil $ - I want an IQ of 160 - I want a minor heart attack
Ladder says "I raise", hearing that phone says "I call", hearing that chair says "I fold" and lastly hearing all that dildo says "I'm all in". Edit 1:- I'm confused with all the mixed thoughts about this joke here, some people found it inappropriate to post it here while some did not. I didn't mean to post it for kids, its for you all to laugh it off. I mean it is silly and funny.
Your fingers. You can always count on them.
Then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?
She answered, “As far as I know, it just sits there.”
He said "France is"
If you can't do the time, don't do the chime.
When it’s “bring your kid to work day”
Pilgrims
He left Big Shoes to fill.
He said, "Well, I wouldn't count on it".
a scrubmarine!
It's a faux pa!
And the doctor says “now now, you’re just going to have to be a little patient”
A Dodge
I said “that explains why I have a crush on ewe.”
Broco-Lee
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Now he has stable WiFi
Now my phone is stuck on airplane mode.
Considering it was my first 4 A into programming
Me- Owww
Im always “eating disorder, eating dat order”
2 Na, of course.
Last time I told one, three little goats laughed so hard they fell off a bridge
I KNOW MY RITES!!
Because it's a soft drink.
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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