ManBehindJulioOcho 6 year.agoA Hindu, a Rabbi, and a Jehovah's Witness are lost..They wander across a farmstead and ask to spend the night. "I only have room for two, so one of you will have to stay in the barn," says the Farm Owner. The Hindu immediately volunteers, insisting it's no problem. However, a few minutes later, he knocks on the front door. "I'm sorry, but there is a cow in the barn, and they are sacred to me." "No problem," says the Rabbi, and he goes to the barn. Again though, he returns and knocks. "There is also a pig in there, and that is against our teachings." "I will go then, friends," says the Jehovah's Witness, and he proceeds to the barn. A few moments later, there is a knock at the door. It's the cow and the pig.
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They stopped after I opened fire though.
So that I could say I come into work everyday.
I don’t usually do that kind of thing, but luckily, I’d just found $5,000 in the parking lot...
A Fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out
Crime rate
a threesome
About the Walmart that got turned into a Target?
If the ***men*** are this bad at driving, I see why they don't let their women drive.
Their last names
They both tell children to open wide.
They’re both just fucking assholes
It only takes one to ruin an entire neighborhood...
The bullet actually comes out of the chamber
"Wait until he's born"
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
I don’t have to pay my mum 100$/hour to call me retarded
Because they can't get past their masters
trans kids actually kill themselves
The Americans saw a bat and made Batman. But those motherfucking Chinese made fucking soup.
/r/MeanJokes
I told her we used names now.
My girlfriend is into some really strange roleplay when we have sex. She always insists on pretending to be 14 years old. I don't get why, she'll be 14 in a couple of years anyway Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHYYYY!!??". Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead" A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it. Q: What's the best part about dead baby jokes? A: They never get old. Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race. /// Q: What's the difference between Jews and Santa Claus? A: Santa comes down the chimney Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? A: A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it. Q: What do black people and bikes have in common? A: They stop working when you take the chains off Q: What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? A: Fitting in. Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: Name something commonly found in cells. Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer Q: Why do Asians have squinty eyes? A: Because atomic bombs are really bright.
"Goddamnit! The cops are here, I guess I'll have the last round for myself."
They charged me with impersonating a police officer.
The can’t stand up for themselves
Having big tits because you're fat is like having a car that's fast because it's falling off a cliff.
the police
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