madazzahatter 6 year.agoI was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow, addressed to, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands..."Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Joshua. P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!"
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture
The line at KFC.
At least he took 300 infidels with him too.
So every once in a while, when no one"s looking...you just have to stick it in a handicap one.
2 tight ends and a wide receiver
Most of them are gold diggers
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell it to jump
Horses
"Dad!!" my daughter screamed. "Mike is lovely!" "I know." I replied. "I was talking to him."
Spray and pray.
It's that some kids would rather kill themselves than lose a bit of weight.
Nothing, don't give a shit if either get fired.
I asked, "Excuse me, do you have a pen?" She replied, "Yes, why?" I said, "Well, you better get back in it before the farmer realizes that you've escaped."
Over 200 years, yoghurt develops a culture
Now it doesn't work. Then I painted white, hoping it would work hard. Now the whole system is corrupt. Then I painted it yellow, hoping it would fix itself. Now the drivers have crashed.
Now she's got two dead dogs.
It's weird because they usually pick cotton.
whipped cream
Nicaragua
Hand him a used tampon and ask what period it came from
Just ask Gianna Bryant.
...The secretary says, "We don't allow blacks at this club." However there's a club 10 minutes down the road that take blacks. "Furious, Bolt replies "do you know who I am? I'm Usain fucking Bolt!" "Oh, sorry, " replies the Secretary. "In that case, it's 5 minutes down the road! " ___ xpost - r/sickipedia
Paul Walker made it to at least 90 before he died.
If god is black and we are supposedly all his children then makes it sense that we never see him.
The execution.
Crime stoppers.
A white woman watching it on tv
Jk it's just clones of turtles.
Under the sea!
so that when people say "are you fucking retarded" I can say yes
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆
