parshuram__ 6 year.agoA policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives.To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second guy smiles, flips his hair, and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "the suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the third guy replied." He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
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Now, it's X_XTentacion.
Take the toll road.
I nearly came on the spot.
A six year old girl was brushing her teeth when her mother got out of the shower. Shocked, the girl pointed to her mother's chest and said "What are those?" "Well, you'll get them in a few years, honey" her mother replies. a few days pass and the girl is brushing her teeth again, when her father gets out of the shower. Once again shocked, the little girl asked "When do I get to have one of those!?" With a slight smile the father replies "As soon as your mother leaves."
Steve
A bomb vest actually does something when it's triggered.
Nigger
>!Both the protagonists are ash!< ​ edit: Thanks for the shekel kind shoah!
It's called 'trycoxagain'.
Trying to fit in.
Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
I aim for 21 but always end up hitting on 14
A man in the front said, "Thank god! Are you a doctor!?" I said, "No, that's my fucking pizza!"
None, he fell.
They still remain cousins
She speaks chinese.
suicide
Very satisfying.
Never Baguette
He breaks his nose.
Because then the game would be called "Solved".
I remembered my instructor said you should never swerve or try and avoid an animal, it's dangerous and you can end up causing a more serious accident. You should always just hit it and keep on driving. Had to chase that cunt for miles across the fields before I got the fucker...
And I told her, being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed. She asked "what's the best way?" I said "a big knife." She laughed and said "you're funny." I said "wise choice."
Two towers
He said, "What are you doing daddy?" "It's called wanking," I replied. "You'll be doing this soon." "Why, daddy?" he asked. "Because my arm is fucking killing me."
The boy says, "Dad what's that big hairy thing between your legs?" Dad replies, "That's your sisters head, son."
There's no definitive proof that thousands of Russians have entered Ukraine.
About how easy it is to decapitate a head
The doctor replies, "Alright, but in order to turn you into a black man, I'm going to have to darken your skin by 70%, reduce your brain mass by 20%, and add 4 inches to your penis." The white guy eagerly agrees to this and goes in for the operation. After the operation, the doctor says to the formerly white guy, "I'm so sorry... there was a mix up in your surgery notes. I ended up darkening your skin by only 20%, increasing your brain mass by 70%, and deducting 4 inches off your penis. Is there any way that you could ever forgive me?" The former white guy replies, "謝謝"
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