kaseyrt 6 year.agoA lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:HUSBAND WANTED! MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!" She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!" She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
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On YouTube, "Full day of eating" videos are all the rage among fitness influencers. Well, here's my idea to parody this trend: Title: *Full day of eating (disorder)* Video: An anorexic girl eats a slice of lemon, video ends.
But now it just doesn’t work.
A Slap Happy Jappy with a Crap happy pappy
Set a homeless man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
I guess his song finally killed her.
He’s Going Underground…
Host: " Tell me a word which I don't know and you win a prize " Phone rings Caller: " Word is goan. Spelt g o a n" Host: "Can you use it in a sentence please" Caller:" Goan f...k yourself" Host hans up Phone rings again Caller:" Word is tsmee. Spelt t s m e e” Host: "Can you use it in a sentence please" Caller:" Tsmee again. Goan f…k yourself"
“I know” says the guy, “but she’s a good cook and the kids like her.”
The pink parts are good but the heads are full of shit.
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Gender reveal parties for seven year olds
Whats the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan? The prisoner is wanted. What’s an orphans favourite flower? Self-raising What does an orphan call a family photo? A Wishlist.
When his semen can’t find any other direction to release.
Woody goes soft when a kid enters the room
to OUCH STOP! rAPE!
A good stroke.
Read them "Little Boy Blue." ^(Works better verbally)
It’s not hard.
... I'd have $1.73
When the student in front of you gets shot, pick up their book.
I would drink it
One of them's a kak blunt, the other...
He spent a night in a warehouse.
Anxiety is the 1st time you can’t do it a 2nd time Panic is the 2nd time you can’t do it the 1st time.
I said it's for kids
They needed two tight ends and a wide receiver.
more jokes Here waiting for you
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