MarioColchester 5 year.agoA Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive. The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent. Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good value for money. Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled. Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
When the sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up
Both are never going to smash...
the woman
On fire
They stopped after I opened fire though.
So that I could say I come into work everyday.
I don’t usually do that kind of thing, but luckily, I’d just found $5,000 in the parking lot...
A Fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out
Crime rate
a threesome
About the Walmart that got turned into a Target?
If the ***men*** are this bad at driving, I see why they don't let their women drive.
Their last names
They both tell children to open wide.
They’re both just fucking assholes
It only takes one to ruin an entire neighborhood...
The bullet actually comes out of the chamber
"Wait until he's born"
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
I don’t have to pay my mum 100$/hour to call me retarded
Because they can't get past their masters
trans kids actually kill themselves
The Americans saw a bat and made Batman. But those motherfucking Chinese made fucking soup.
/r/MeanJokes
I told her we used names now.
My girlfriend is into some really strange roleplay when we have sex. She always insists on pretending to be 14 years old. I don't get why, she'll be 14 in a couple of years anyway Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHYYYY!!??". Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead" A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it. Q: What's the best part about dead baby jokes? A: They never get old. Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race. /// Q: What's the difference between Jews and Santa Claus? A: Santa comes down the chimney Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? A: A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it. Q: What do black people and bikes have in common? A: They stop working when you take the chains off Q: What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? A: Fitting in. Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: Name something commonly found in cells. Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer Q: Why do Asians have squinty eyes? A: Because atomic bombs are really bright.
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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