4 year.agoA teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories.In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, “My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to the market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road. The basket fell off the seat and all the eggs broke.” The moral of the story is not to put all your eggs in one basket. “Very good,” said the teacher. Next, Mary said, “We are farmers too. We had twenty eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got ten chicks.” The moral of this story is not to count your chickens before they’re hatched . “Very good,” said the teacher again, very pleased with the response so far. Next it was Barney’s turn to tell his story: “My dad told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete.” “Go on,” said the teacher, intrigued. “Aunt Karen drank the whiskey on the way down to prepare herself. Then she landed right in the middle of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.” “Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What did your father say was the moral of that frightening Story?” The child said: “Stay away from Aunt Karen when she’s been drinking.”
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when they get pulled over by a police officer. The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver "Sorry to pull you over father, but we're looking for a couple of child molesters" The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says; «Alright officer, we'll do it»
To get to the other side.
He said, "Nice shirt faggot." I replied, "Thanks, it's 100% cotton. Tell your grandparents I said thanks."
Which of course made me extremely upset when my birthday came around, because I had nothing to wish for.
So I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he's right.
A PDF file
is he charged with assault, or child abuse?
Your mother's cunt gets some new content every once in a while. Seriously, the amount of reposts going on in the past few months, both comments and posts, is sickening.
She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Kid stops crying when the gun goes off in it's mouth
If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture
The line at KFC.
At least he took 300 infidels with him too.
So every once in a while, when no one"s looking...you just have to stick it in a handicap one.
2 tight ends and a wide receiver
Most of them are gold diggers
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell it to jump
Horses
"Dad!!" my daughter screamed. "Mike is lovely!" "I know." I replied. "I was talking to him."
Spray and pray.
It's that some kids would rather kill themselves than lose a bit of weight.
Nothing, don't give a shit if either get fired.
I asked, "Excuse me, do you have a pen?" She replied, "Yes, why?" I said, "Well, you better get back in it before the farmer realizes that you've escaped."
Over 200 years, yoghurt develops a culture
Now it doesn't work. Then I painted white, hoping it would work hard. Now the whole system is corrupt. Then I painted it yellow, hoping it would fix itself. Now the drivers have crashed.
Now she's got two dead dogs.
It's weird because they usually pick cotton.
whipped cream
Nicaragua
Hand him a used tampon and ask what period it came from
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