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avatar WudButton 4 year.agoWhy do riot police get up so early in the morning?

To beat the crowd.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What are 3 species that carry their homes with them when they move around?

Snails, Hermit crabs, Homeless people

2. What's the difference between slavery and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for 150 years

3. How do you get 100 babies into a bucket

With a blender

4. What's common between Korean Air Lines Flight 007 and looting protests?

Target is destroyed.

5. Virtue-signalling on racial issues

is good for brownie points.

6. Girlfriends are kind of like Futuristic robots that cater to your every need.

In that no one would believe you if you said you had one.

7. Shout out to all the people who can’t stand loud noise because of anxiety or sensory issues or chronic migraines and have to deal with people being unnecessarily loud all the time but can’t do or say anything about it because that’s ‘rude’ and ‘ruining everyone’s good time’

8. You know what's funnier than rape?

Me neither

9. What’s the difference between a child and a prostitute?

“I don’t know.” You sick fuck.

10. Porn does do one good thing it prevents rape

Unless if you need to film that rape scene

11. What’s the difference between a slave and a cow?

Cows usually live 20 years

12. How do you waste an idiot's time?

13. Did you hear about the faggot with AIDS who ate a pound of laxatives?

It didn't cure him, but it sure as hell taught him what his ass was for!

14. If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

15. How do you keep an asshole in suspense?

I'll tell you later

16. What's the difference between a black man and a pile of dog shit?

The dog shit eventually turns white and stops stinking.

17. What's the best thing about showering with a 4 year old girl?

Slick her hair back she looks like a 4 year old boy.

18. It really hurts when people make jokes about my disabled son.

I should try not to laugh so hard.

19. Why can’t feminists do algebra?

When they see an x and a y they get triggered.

20. Why do riot police get up so early in the morning?

To beat the crowd.

21. Why don’t black people show up in the dark on a camera

They don’t want to get caught steeling from your car

22. Politicians always lie

Didn’t John F Kennedy promise to serve a full term?

23. I never go to any party because last time I beat the organizer.

It was my aunt’s babyshower

24. Who called it panties and not

V-Guard

25. After I was abducted by the aliens, I begged and pleaded with them not to butt-probe me.

But it was no use. Diego and Jose shoved the cocaine up my ass and sent me back over the border.

26. What are guys after quarantine?

They are similar to the new macOS, a big sur

27. Why was no one surprised when Jake Paul got arrested?

Because it's everyday bro

28. plane ride

does anybody know why this Muslim guy keep on saying crazy w o r dddd ssssss

29. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back

30. Bitch sucked so much dick

When she burps, you hear babies cry

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