PresidentForEternity 4 year.agoA gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable.However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they can't afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have in storage for an extra $100 a day if he will go in the gorilla cage and pretend to be the gorilla until the zoo can afford a new one. Quickly, the new "gorilla" becomes the most popular craze at the zoo. People from all over are coming to see the "Human-like" gorilla. About a month in, the craze has started to wear off. So, to get peoples' attention back, he decides to climb over his enclosure and hang from the net ceiling above the lions' den next to him. A large crowd of people gather watching the spectacle in awe and terror. Suddenly the man loses his grip and falls to the floor of the lion's den. The man starts screaming "HELP!! HELP!!!" Suddenly a lion pounces him from behind and whispers in his ear, "Shut the fuck up right now or you're going to get us both fired."
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It really opened a window of opportunity.
Or "Task Manager", as he calls it.
Depends on how many cops are on him
A job.
One was made of straw and the other made of wood. Police have said that it's probably a lone wolf.
They keep KFC and Popeyes in business.
Pigga
We call the group Syndrome of a Down.
For example, the funeral business is booming.
A corona gets its Lyme
Never mind... It's teareble.
Nothing, cause there dead.
Peppa pig
A muslim killing them with stones
His name was Ahhhhhhh
Never mind it was a really fat woman being raped
Cecil is an African lion Al Sharpton is a lyin African
All respirators were already in use at the hospital
Bitches love to be called beautiful
To beat the crowd.
A black man with the whitest smile
A white woman calling the cops on black people named karen
Because one did not kill himself and the other has touched little boys
Jewish people getting gasses
My friend died this week of complications related to alcoholism. We are writing his obituary which is written with generally a serious tone. But, he was a very funny guy and we think the best way to honor him would be to make a small joke about his issues. This is definitely very crude...but any ideas?
12 One to screw it in, one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination, one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination, one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like", one to deconstruct the light bulb itself as being phallic, one to blame men for not changing the bulb, one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it, one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs, one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs, one to advocate that light bulb changers should have wage parity with electricians, one to alert the media that women are now "out-light bulbing" men, and one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.
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