TravellingBeard 4 year.agoTwo Canadians die and end up in Hell.Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy. They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty." Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing. "Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!" Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth. He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!" They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!" Edit: thank you all for the kindness. As you guessed, of course this joke is not new. There have been permutations of this for a while. Posted this to give you all a smile, but didn't realize it would blow up like this. Much love!
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The only STD most Star Trek fans will ever experience.
Roses are red, violets are blue, in China it started off as the flu.
Gone with the Wind
There was this pet shop in Mexico that was pretty popular in its area. The owner sold lizards, fish, hamsters; all sorts of animals. The only thing that he couldn’t sell was this old parrot that he had acquired from across the border named Polly. Every time someone showed interest in Polly she would squawk loudly and flap her wings aggressively; which tended to scare people off. This happened over and over again. Polly seemed to have a problem with every man and woman in Mexico. The shop owner had no idea what to make of it. Until one day a very lovely soft-spoken Hispanic woman came into the shop. She saw Polly and immediately fell in love. The owner of the shop, thinking this could be the day, asked her if she’d like to hold Polly. The soft-spoken woman eagerly accepted his offer. The shop owner opened Polly’s cage and brought her over to the woman. Right on cue, Polly began squawking and flapping her wings; she even managed to bite the Mexican woman. The woman, of course, ran out the shop frightened and bleeding. The shop owner, who had hoped that he might finally sell the Parrot, was furious. He began yelling at the bird, “That woman was so lovely and so kind! What problem did have with her?” In response Polly began to hop and bob her head while repeating, “Polly wants a Cracker! Polly wants a Cracker!”
Bc he likes to leave Asians hanging
We only want the white ones but most of them are yellow and the black ones must be removed
is it a speech impediment or an accent?
Kneel on a black man for 9 minutes...
Outlaws are wanted.
They call it “Barely a sentence”
you can imagine him at the stairway to heaven going "Shit!"
The flat ones get skipped
A chink in the armor
A truly brilliant Ventriloquist.
In fact, I never think once about it.
Because It tastes like Kool aid
What's white is valued. What's yellow and brown is flushed while reading a magazine. If it's black, you need to see a doctor.
Because I think that's what he meant by "make america great again".
Because China knows how to make viral content.
None, they just beat the room for being black
The dog stops barking
Hide his food stamps under his work boots
Football player gets penalized for excessive force.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Offensivejokes/comments/gu3l9u/kneeling_outta_respect/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
It really opened a window of opportunity.
Or "Task Manager", as he calls it.
Depends on how many cops are on him
A job.
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