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avatar DarbyCrashLanding 4 year.agoA husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?"

"We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." "Yes", she says, "I remember it well." OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?" Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

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1. I could tell you how Minnesota cops like to arrest black guys, but then I'd have to kill you. That maneuver is a...

...knee to nose basis...

2. The Chinese coined the phrase ''It's not you...it's me"

while looking at their family albums.

3. In america, what happen when you graduate from college.

Nothing, they all die in school shooting.

4. My nerdy son was crying because his fat girlfriend dumped him.

"Never mind son." I said, "plenty more whales in the sea."

5. Prince William says taking out his contact lenses so he can’t see the audience has helped him overcome his fear of public speaking. Oddly enough...

Kate takes hers out when she has to fuck him...

6. I downloaded a PC game last night.

It was extremely boring. All my character could do was sit there quietly and try not to offend black people.

7. How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just wait and expect the white people to do it for them

8. What is a black mans best enemy

Hard dogs and police officers

9. What do you get when you stab a baby 10 times?

An erection and 10 places to put it.

10. Kinder surprise eggs are good

-the German pedophile

11. Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she!

12. Pour animals...

into an oven, I'm hungry!!

13. Why can’t Aggies call 911?

They can’t find the 11 on the phone!

14. How do you make a feminist smile?

Photoshop - if you're good at it.

15. Planned Parenthood ran out of business

The guy with the hydraulic press would kill the baby for free, and he'll do ones that have already been born. He makes a lot of money, everybody loves watching a the compressed fetus goo squeezed out of the dead woman's vagina. The pro-choice finally did admit that abortion was murder, so we are now just the pro-murder movement. We love watching people be murdered by the hydraulic press.

16. Just saw two tramps hitting each other around the head with cardboard.

They were having a pillow fight.

17. When the black guy took responsibility and claimed that he was the father, I was absolutely shocked.

I really did not see that coming in "The Empire Strikes Back."

18. What’s a Nazi’s favorite part of chemistry?

When they get the final solution.

19. What are Chinese people who got arrested for saying negative things about their government convicted of?

Wongthink

20. Why can't gay men drive over 68mph?

At 69 they blow a rod.

21. What's the difference between you and an abortion?

The abortion was planned.

22. What’s the difference between a Chinese person and a group of Chinese people?

Batman and Batmen

23. I took a bus home last night.

She prefers being called big-boned.

24. What do you call the story of Sodom and Gomorrah?

LGBBQ

25. Why can’t you rape a hooker?

Because that’s shoplifting

26. Did you know Hellen Keller had a treehouse?

Neither did she

27. How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They rearranged the furniture.

28. Whats the difference between a pulse and an orgasm?

I don't care if she has either

29. The other day I got arrested after suffocating a black man to death after tackling him

It was for impersonating an officer

30. A Murderer, A Domestic Abuser & Klansman Walk Into A Bar

The bartender says "what will it be officer?"

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