-Griever 4 year.agoA man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks "If I show you something crazy, would let me have free drinks for the rest of the night?"The bartender thinks for a minute and then says "It would to be something spectacular to take that offer." The man leans down and picks up a box and sets it on the bar. He opens the box and inside is a small piano man, whom is only 1 foot tall, and beside him a little piano. The piano man starts playing classical music like Beethoven and Chopin. Once he finishes, the bartender is in utter disbelief. He tells the man "You can have free drinks for the rest of the night, but only if you tell where you got this." The man says "In the alley way behind your bar, there is a Genie who is granting free wishes to everyone who wants them." Elated, the bartender heads behind his bar to see if it was true. A few minutes passed and out of the alleyway erupts a cacophony of quacking. The bartender rushes back into the bar and shuts his door against a wave of thousands of ducks. He manages to secure the door and says to the man "I think that the Genie is hard of hearing, because after I asked for a million bucks, these ducks appeared by the thousands." The man chuckles and says "Did you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
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How can you tell that your acne is really getting out of hand? The blind starts reading your face.
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
“Ow, my spine!”
They’ll just hold you down, Look what happened to Kobe
One says to the other, let’s go in and get shitfaced.
She forgot to take the tissue out of the box.
He was born black Died blacker
Especially when you realise there isn't a cyclist on it.
He spots a pretty girl at the end of the bar and approaches her. ‘Would you like to dance?’ he asks her. ‘I really don’t like this song,’ she replies, ‘and even if I did I wouldn’t dance with you.’ ‘I don’t think you heard me correctly,’ says the man. ‘I said you look fat in those pants.’
The unemployment line.
because i'm a necrophiliac pedophile.
Until it went into labor Edit: Until it had a miscarriage
After a bullets killed someone it’s been fired
By placing a half eaten sandwich in their hand
Coral
Taking a fat dump in the wheel chair stall? A handi-crap
He was charged with impersonating a police officer
You know crackers float! Edit: any other white people jokes?
Set for life.
After God created Adam, Adam was lonely so he asked God to create a partner for him. Then God told him:"Very well Adam. I will do that but I will need one of your eyes, one of your hands, one of your legs and one of your testicles." Adam said"Oh well, that sounds too much. What can you get out of a rib?"
Cos they dad's still haven't returned from the cigarette shop...
I’m pregnant.
(That means I treat them as if they're stupid.)
And also it's better to have less to no competition where you live
Well that makes pussy the original Anti-depressent
Ground up and in my freezer.
They can’t understand both sides of the problem
He was wearing black pants when he got pulled over.
Felt cute might delete later.
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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