TheDankLibrarian 4 year.agoWhen I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.
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So I sent her to a concentration camp.
A farmer's toolshed. (If you didn’t get it it’s because they’re hoes)
Now I have to pull the trigger every time I see a kid.
They both get stoned.
Pizza didn’t do 9/11
I dont know-i close my eyes when I cum
Poison his tea and hide the antidote in a tube of toothpaste.
Because it's too suspicious to call them Daddy.
Santa goes DOWN the chimney
The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it
running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose first
I'm gonna get you wetter than a spastics chin
Because they have no rights.
For some reason she kept screaming her age instead of the correct safeword
I am not a meth head.
In the end I didn’t. It’s a touchy subject
He said, “I'll give you my girl! Hopefully that will be enough to cover it!” The restaurant got him arrested anyway since girls are worthless in China.
A Sandy Hook.
A six-pack of beer and a potato.
I didn't laugh but the floor was cracking up
Coon on the moon
Speed bumps
All lesbians are feminists
Partial arts
House music.
Usually found dead on the side of the road
Pick it up and suck its cock.
now is the perfect time to tell the kids that Santa didn't make it through the pandemic.
more jokes Here waiting for you
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