IdeaCafe 4 year.agoAn attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?""Of course child. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?" "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she replied. When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?" Father replied, "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused." Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please!"
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In order to survive they both have to be quiet.
Now, it's X_XTentacion.
Take the toll road.
I nearly came on the spot.
A six year old girl was brushing her teeth when her mother got out of the shower. Shocked, the girl pointed to her mother's chest and said "What are those?" "Well, you'll get them in a few years, honey" her mother replies. a few days pass and the girl is brushing her teeth again, when her father gets out of the shower. Once again shocked, the little girl asked "When do I get to have one of those!?" With a slight smile the father replies "As soon as your mother leaves."
Steve
A bomb vest actually does something when it's triggered.
Nigger
>!Both the protagonists are ash!< ​ edit: Thanks for the shekel kind shoah!
It's called 'trycoxagain'.
Trying to fit in.
Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
I aim for 21 but always end up hitting on 14
A man in the front said, "Thank god! Are you a doctor!?" I said, "No, that's my fucking pizza!"
None, he fell.
They still remain cousins
She speaks chinese.
suicide
Very satisfying.
Never Baguette
He breaks his nose.
Because then the game would be called "Solved".
I remembered my instructor said you should never swerve or try and avoid an animal, it's dangerous and you can end up causing a more serious accident. You should always just hit it and keep on driving. Had to chase that cunt for miles across the fields before I got the fucker...
And I told her, being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed. She asked "what's the best way?" I said "a big knife." She laughed and said "you're funny." I said "wise choice."
Two towers
He said, "What are you doing daddy?" "It's called wanking," I replied. "You'll be doing this soon." "Why, daddy?" he asked. "Because my arm is fucking killing me."
The boy says, "Dad what's that big hairy thing between your legs?" Dad replies, "That's your sisters head, son."
There's no definitive proof that thousands of Russians have entered Ukraine.
About how easy it is to decapitate a head
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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