vjb_reddit_scrap 4 year.agoA lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "This guy looks edible, never seen his kind before".So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm... that was some good lion meat!". The lion abruptly stops and says "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can". Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened and the lion says angrily "Get on my back, we'll get him together". So they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts "Where the hell is that monkey?? I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!!!"
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So I'll make your HOLE weak :)
Now imagine NOT being in jail or getting shot
But then I didn't, because what if he just have a blast. You never know, and I didn't want to take any risk ...
4,000 years ago, Jewish God gave the Jews Israel as their homeland under a contract, where the terms were "If you uphold the 613 commandments of God, your homeland canbe Israel." ; The Jews broke the terms of the contract, they didn't uphold the 613 commandments of God, and due to this breach of contract, Jewish God stripped them of any rights to live Israel. When you have a Jewish God, of course you're going to get fucked over for breach of contract!
Everywhere
You have to sit in the back of the oven.
They tried to take a shit in the middle of the Autobahn but the cars were going too fast.
Deformed.
A School Bus Full Of Children
She even had to stand in the back of the gas chamber.
When they stop working, give em a smack
Because the slow ones are in jail.
That isn't funny!
So I said " a psychiatrist"
The Italian plane has hair under its wings.
Because it means at least he's not a rapist.
I saw this horrible person on tiktok today. Here is the video: [tiktok video ](https://vm.tiktok.com/wpy42r/) Honestly we should all get on his stream tonight and figure out what his problem is 😂😂
Yea that's the joke.
But I think its because she's a vegan now.
Racism has many faces.
Throw a penny off the cliff. How do you get two Jews to jump off a cliff? Tell them the penny is still down there
Show Off!
It only takes one nail to hang the picture
Aspies = people with Asperger's Syndrome.
The anchor
A quarter pounder with cheese!
cop shoots at a flying cockroach but accidentally kills black man instead
So she disabled the cheat codes.
A prostitute can wash her crack and resell it.
more jokes Here waiting for you
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