4 year.agoA girl tells her mother after school ‘Mum, I got a gold star today for reciting the whole alphabet! The rest of my class only knows 3 or 4 letters!‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’ After returning from school the next day the girl tells her mother ‘I am the smartest student in my maths class! I can count up to 15! Everyone else stopped at about 5’ ‘Well done’ replies the mother again. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’ The following day, the girl says to her mother. ‘Mum, today we measured our chests in class and mine is the largest! Is that because I’m blonde?’ ‘No darling, that’s because you’re 18.’
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Twix
One day I didn’t have a lot to do so I wanted to play Watch Dogs 2. (first you have to understand that the main character is black) After a while playing, I was getting busted by the police and then I got killed after a while of running Then I said in my mind: Holy shit, just like in our actual times.
Not only do they leave more girls for us, they take another dude with them, and the girls give us lesbian porn.
Skidmarks
Put floss over their eyes.
"are you sad?"
But, by the time i was old enough, they closed the chemical testing lab in my city.
The Fresh Prince of No Air
I have muscular degeneration in my legs.
The best part was watching his eyes close before his head hit the ball.
Especially now that he had a kid and really has to dissapear.
GONErrhea
:)
Oh wait. There was a Black person in the media, I assumed he’d been arrested.
Everyone KNEEds air
She hates when I call her that.
... Their wheelchairs
George Floyd by kneeling is somewhat like paying homage to Kobe Bryant by doing the helicopter.
Because mad cow was already taken!!!
There aren't nearly enough of them.
2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ashtray
Stop laughing and reload
... air is free
Take your foot off the back of his head
Bureau of Land Management you racist assholes!
To beat the crowds.
Who cares
He left his hand sanitizer at home.
* A smog-filled bushfire * COVID-19 * Choking of the world's economy * A man who was choked to death, which sparked fires and tear gas filled race riots. All things considered, a month of free Pornhub Premium was just icing on the cake for erotic asphyxiation fetishists.
I had kissed her in front them.
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆
