littleboy_xxxx 3 year.agoA husband notices his wife’s hearing is deteriorating and decides to visit her doctor for advice.“I can’t speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc. “There’s a simple trick you can try to determine her hearing” explains the doctor. “Simply ask her a question at a distance and if she doesn’t hear you, move slightly closer and ask again until she does”. That night, the husband arrives home and sees his wife in the kitchen cooking. He thinks to himself, “what a perfect opportunity to test her hearing”. He stands in the doorway of the kitchen and promptly asks; “What’s for dinner honey?” No answer. He moves closer. “What’s for dinner honey?” Still no answer. He moves even closer. “What’s for dinner honey?” Still his wife doesn’t answer. He now sees how serious her hearing problem is. At this point, he is stood right next to his wife. “What’s for dinner honey?” “FOR THE FOURTH FUCKING TIME WE’RE HAVING CHICKEN”
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Because that’s shoplifting
Neither did she
They rearranged the furniture.
I don't care if she has either
It was for impersonating an officer
The bartender says "what will it be officer?"
i had no idea what i was doing, but dad was sure keen to show me
While kids in foreign countries bring their MP3 players to school, we bring our MP5s! ​ EDIT: We now bring MP7s. EDIT #2: We now bring MP9s! Holy shit, we really upgraded quickly! EDIT #3: Well shit, it's lockdown... hope we get an MP11 sooner or later!
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More like third reich feminism
Doctor-Whats wrong? Me-I love to help blind and mute people, I think I'm insane!! Doctor-How is that bad?? Me- I mean the adjective
Jack Daniels comes alive when you add coke.
because they have developed a taste for pepper spray.
I shouted, “My money's on the one with the knife!" You should’ve seen them both run away.
I think it's because he's got an overactive knife and fork.
I was only protecting him from a sniper. Lucky for him I saw the laser sight before the guy took one in the head.
I think it was a fitting metaphor for his company’s attitude to battery life.
Unless there are no seals around.
Your putting your kids behind bars.
They can't tell you "no."
taking the art out of rap artist.
They're afraid to get near the oven
One's a Bat Digger, and the other's a fat nigger.
Her nose is running
Because no Jewish woman will touch anything that isn’t twenty percent off.
Nothing, if you are the Pope
Contemplating suicide when a nasty old bum walked up and asked her what she was doing. "I'm going to kill myself" she said. The bum then asked "Well, if you're gonna kill yourself do you wanna have sex first?" "Oh Hell no!" the girl replied. "Fine" said the bum. "I'll just wait at the bottom then"
At the nursing home I am getting rid of evidence
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