LostBetsRed 1 mon.agoA Jewish guy goes to a Rabbinical court, seeking to have his name legally changed[translated from Yiddish] The Rabbi frowns at him. "So it's a new name you want, is it? Why? What's wrong with the name your mother and father gave you? The name you had when you were given your *bris*? The name you had when you became a *bar mitzvah*? The name you had when you stood under the *chuppa* and married your wife? Why do you want to change this? What *is* your name, anyway?" "Adolf Cumguzzler." The Rabbi recoils in horror. "Oy! Such a name, such a terrible, terrible name! I don't blame you for wanting to change it. If I had that name, I'd want to change it myself. So what do you want to change it *to*?" "*Franz* Cumguzzler." (Told to me by my grandfather, a German Jew who fled Germany for the United States literally days before this would have become impossible.)
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
The Arab clearly impressed by this drinks down his beer quickly, tosses his glass in the air pulls out his AK-47 blows it to pieces and says, "Where I come from, we have so much sand to make glasses we don't have to drink from the same one twice either!" The Redneck, cool as a cucumber, chugs down his beer, tosses his glass in the air pulls out his .45 and shoots the Mexican and the Arab, catches the glass and asks for a refill and says, "In America, we have so many illegal aliens we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."
Optimistic.
I guess they were intended for a younger audience.
"I want my land back"
They did unspeakable things to her.
Girls hate football
I don't know what scared him worse, that I was naked, or I knew where he lived.
If you happen to visit the church regularly, you'll probably lose it before you're 14.
unfortunately, he believes actions speak louder than words.
They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane
Anyway, long story short, I'm now saving a fortune on bacon.
Show her a used tampon and ask what period it's from. Wakka wakka!
"If you ever come close to me, I'll fucking skin you alive. When we're sleeping, you don't fucking touch me. You hear me? Don't ever talk to me, either." "Fucking great." I thought, "First day in here and I'm already married."
... When i saw a black man walking with a new looking bicycle. I thought sh*t that looks like the one i own. So i ran to my house as fast as i could. Luckily mine was still in the cellar cleaning my boots.
There is a man going for a stroll through the woods one day, enjoying the outdoors. In the distance, he hears the soft sobbing of a child. He follows it, the cries getting louder. As he approaches the source of the sobs, he sees a dead man and a woman lying on the ground, the cold in between the two hysterically crying. "Lilly boy, little boy, my god what happened!" Choking back tears, the child went on to explain what happened. "Mom... Mommy and da-daddy started arguing and and... " The man kneeled down on one knee, placing his hand on his shoulder. "It's OK son, let it out." "Mommy slapped daddy and daddy got mad so daddy shot mommy and kept yelling at her about how it was all her fault and he's going to... To.. He was going to make sure it never happend again." He was clearly traumatized, but the man let him finish. "daddy pulled out his gun and... And shot mommy. Then he.... He screamed and threw it. He was crying a lot.... I shot daddy. He got up and said this was all my fault. I shot him again until he stopped moving. Then... Then I heard mommy. She said she loved me.... Then she stopped moving." He was still crying, harder then ever. The man stood up, took a step back. "Do you still have the gun little boy?" The boy shook his head, and pointed over towards a tree. The man retrieved the gun, and walked back towards the boy. "Christ kid.... " he said, unzipping his fly, "this is not your fucking day."
The Police
Because she’s a woman
An abortion gets rid of the problem PERMANENTLY
Cracking open a boy with the cold ones
So women can moan even when they're happy.
Imagine if roles were reversed and it was handsome and the feminist.
...It's called "parkin sans" and it's very difficult to read.
They prefer to drive rincolns
Anal cancer
Guilty
You'd almost think they were black guys.
If you can't find yours after a couple days, it's probably dead.
We're all God's children and I don't know about you, but I've never even seen the bastard...
Put it into airplane mode.
And a condom floats to the top so one says "ok guys, who farted?"
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆
