Luxodad 1 mon.agoJohnny in the classroom(Reposting here as too long for Dad jokes) Newish teacher was due for an inspection and was worried about how her class would make her look. Her boyfriend, an engineer, designed something special for her and installed it the night before the inspection. Basically, he'd placed drawing pins under each chair that were controlled by a wireless signal from teacher's iPad. Next morning, when the inspector walked in, she pressed the "all" button and the pins went into every pupils backside. Of course they all jumped up, and the inspector was impressed by the class' respectful behaviour. Next, the teacher told him she was doing a pop quiz on the Bible. First question was "Who was our Lord and Saviour?" She called on George and pressed his button. George jumped up, rubbing his bottom, exclaiming "Jesus Christ!" Next question was "Who was sent floating in a basket down the river?" This time it was Brian's turn to get the jab. He jumped up, rubbing his bottom, crying out "Holy Moses!" The next question was "What did Eve say to Adam in the Garden of Eden?" This time, she called upon Johnny (oh, will they never learn?) who'd been stung once and had seen the how the teacher was doing the tricks. Before she could press the button for Johnny, he'd already jumped up, saying "You're not going to stick that thing in me."
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But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
Wish me luck, my court case starts tomorrow
It takes only 1 to ruin a good neighbourhood
Walk through Africa with a cup of water
She looked surprised.
They found her head and shoulders in the glove box
The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, "There's plenty more of that where I come from." Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, "There's plenty more of those where I come from." Again everyone is rather impressed. So the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train.
The leaf, the rope stopped the Emo.
But you’re on a FBI watchlist if you donate 26
A boy says to his dad, "Why do they say gardeners have got green fingers when their fingers aren't green?" His dad replies, "It's just a saying, son. It's like when someone is caught stealing something, they say that they've been caught red-handed', even though their hands are actually black." ___ credit: r/sickipedia
Before they start, the girl says, "Jacques, give me a kiss!" So he grabs the bottle of Merlot, pours some into her mouth, and exclaims, "When the French take red meat, we take it with red wine!" before giving her a long, deep kiss. They continue kissing, and get more and more passionate. After a while, the girl breaks away and says, "Jacques! Kiss me... lower." And so he kisses her down her neck and towards her bosom. As he reaches her breasts, he grabs the bottle of Chardonnay, pours it onto her breasts and exclaims, "When the French take white meat, we take it with white wine!" before licking and sucking on her breasts eagerly. After a while, the girl can no longer take it, and whispers into his ear, "Jacques, I want you to go... lower." And so he gradually lowers himself and pulls down her panties. As he nears her pussy, he grabs the bottle of whiskey, pours it over her pussy, and then grabs his lighter and sets her bush on fire, before exclaiming, "When the French go down, we go down in flames!".
It was made in China
On the dot.
Because two Wongs don’t make a white
Eventually they will both get laid by a Mexican.
Put it into airplane mode
Racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died
Because they shoot the ones who go to school
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned." Priest: "What have you done my child?" Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch." Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?" Girl: "Because he touched my hand." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he touched my breast." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father." Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where." Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where) Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!" Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "But father he had AIDS!" Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
She was also on the dashboard, and the steering wheel, and the gear shift, and the windshield....
Because in 10 million years they'll be niggers. -------------- Edit: [Source](http://www.sickipedia.net/j/Racism/Black/60064)
‘’Drop it nigga’’
It may not be exactly what you wanted but that doesn't stop your Dad from giving it to you anyway.
I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car
Obviously a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without offering suggestions.
Really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Ash.
The perfect rape victim!
You might get shot by the police.
...we go with Human Lives Matter? That way, it excludes the niggers.
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