Make_the_music_stop 27 day.agoDefence barrister: 'Will you please state your full name.'....... Agatha: 'Agatha Louise Hewson.'Defence barrister: 'Will you please state your age' Agatha: 'I am 94 years old.' Defence barrister: 'Will you tell us in your own words what happened on the night in question.' Agatha: 'I was sitting on my garden swing on my front verandah. It was a warm spring evening, when a young man crept up on the verandah and sat down beside me.' Defence barrister: 'Did you know him? ' Agatha: 'No, but he was really friendly.' Defence barrister: 'What happened after he sat down?' Agatha: 'He started to rub my thigh.' Defence barrister: 'Did you stop him?' Agatha: 'No, I didn't stop him.' Defence barrister: 'Why didn't you stop him?' Agatha: 'It felt so good and nobody had done that since my husband George died almost 35 years ago.' Defence barrister: 'What happened next?' Agatha: 'He began to kiss my legs and inner thighs.' Defense Attorney: 'Did you stop him then?' Agatha: 'No, I didn't stop him.' Defence barrister: 'Why didn't you stop him?' Agatha: 'Because he made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in so many years! And I was getting so moist too!' Defence barrister: 'What happened next?' Agatha: 'Well, by this time I was feeling like I was about to explode that I just took all my clothes off, laid down and said "Take me young man, take me now"!' Defence barrister: 'And tell me, did he take you?' Agatha: 'Lord no!.....He just yelled "April Fool You Old Cow" and that's when I shot him, the little fucker.'
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It's all over.
I thought, fuck me, I might win this.
When she takes her tampon out and the cotton is picked off.
XXXTENTACION, Juice Wrld, and Mac Miller
Let's Go Bully The Queers
Apparently, orphans don't have a sense of humor.
If the guy turns out to be innocent, I follow the girl home and rape her. Nobody is going to believe her anyway.
It really kind of spoiled our 10th anniversary dinner.
Her miscarriage.
My wife is white and it's hard to hide all the bruises
Little Seizures.
Going to an Oregon community college
So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove into a wall
But haven't seen their kids in over a year. Wakanda father are you?
I was bloody and sore afterwards, but at least my dad came.
For some reason she kept yelling out her age
Little Seizures
She wont find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage...
Pump kin
But that's just low hanging fruit
I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
I like black people just as much as normal people
There were three gay men and their partners all died at around the same time. On their way to the morgue, the guy who worked there asked them where they want to spread their partners ashes. The first gay guy says, "I want to spread his ashes over the ocean because he loved to swim!" The second gay guy says, "I want to spread his ashes on a mountain because he loved to climb." And then the third gay guy says, "I want to spread him all over my chili." Confused, the coroner asked, "WHY?" In which the third gay guy responded, "So he can tear my ass up one more time."
I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was just an accident
Hitler turns to his generals in outrage and says “You’re supposed to bake them until they’re dead!”
"Is it true what Rita just told me?" "What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter. "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. "But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
I had sex with my girlfriend last night. It was her first time so she bled. I told her not to worry, in a few years she'll bleed every month.
They already have enough on their plate.
You put a windsheild over her eyes.
It involved 8 black men and a gun
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