Waitsfornoone 6 day.agoA wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified ...A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator." Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn’t wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn’t suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don’t fit into anymore. Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?' And so, here we are!"
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
He said "have to love Easter, baby"
Ten. You need ten ants.
It's a step by step guide
Mooslim
But unfortunately there's no Time!
A neckless.
In case he got a hole in one
It gets discharged. 🙂↕️
… are when your kids have had enough and skip the rolling of eyes altogether. They go from Dad joke to Dad choke in zero point to the door seconds.
But the broom is what swept the nation.
The photon replies, “No, I'm traveling light.”
But I came up Chort.
What’s a frog’s favorite band - The Beatles
Then I signed the letters ‘A’ ‘S’ ‘L’
I'll tell ya tomorrow!
I don't want to interrupt her.
She’s goes, “Yeah…that’s a stretch.”
I responded with “I didn’t know they could do that”
He got a little behind in his work!
No, but an Applewood
Me : I don't know. Dad : You can tuna a piano but you can't piano a tuna. Me : What about the pot of glue? Dad: I knew you'd get stuck on that.
Until knight fall.
If I was a dinosaur I would be a backasaurus. i came up with this on the spot, I'm really proud of it and I think it's a new one, has this been said/done before?
Or are they just blowing smoke?
Knott’s Dairy Farm.
Gen A!
Just like Franz to put all his love dreams in a Liszt.
“No son, have you seen my dad glasses?”
Back when I was young, our local parish priest was made a Canon. I asked my dad what a Canon was. His reply? “It’s a big shot in the Church.” Then he cracked up laughing, as he always did at his own jokes. RIP Dad. 15 years gone, and missed every single day.
Kill-A-Man-Jaro
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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