madazzahatter 7 year.agoTwo married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says..."You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ... and she's always sound asleep."
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"Son, after that orgy you must thank God you don't have a tail."
A liquor cabinet.
Doctors were optimistic for a full recovery until he Forgot About Dre!
When you ride a skateboard you don’t get charged with Statutory Rape.
One of the few ways you can still legally buy black people.
The aftermath of the smiler at alton towers
https://youtu.be/tVaymJPZWiw
A suicide vest actually accomplishes something when it's triggered
So I pushed him back and burned the closet to the ground.
Oh, so he’s good at laying pipe?
tell a joke
When she pulls out the tampon all the cotton has been picked
Whats the difference questions are actually funny.
If they’re flat they get skipped
Jesus doesn't have Mexicans tattooed all over him.
It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.
A tree makes good paper
I don’t fuck with either of them
What the hell
because millions of planets and stars have spent billions of years lining themselves up just to let her know that she'll "meet someone with nice eyes today."
Doctors have given her only two decades to live.
One is a president with a mild..... major retardation, and the other is dying from liver failure. Horrible joke? I know.....
It doesn't last long for fat people. Old but gold.
So blind people can hate em too
Because Japan hunts whales. Credit where credit is due I found this in the comment section of Dr Shaym’s video 50 Female Privileges. It was written by Sean Strozewski.
The leaf, the rope stops the emo.
You don't get scared by Foxy when he comes out of the closet.
But it is definitely not a given.
more jokes Here waiting for you
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