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avatar TheBoyDilly 6 year.agoWhat’s the difference between my dad and cancer?

My cancer came back

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What’s the difference between someone who votes Bernie and someone who votes anyone else?

A job.

2. A terrorist attack has blown away two houses in Syria.

One was made of straw and the other made of wood. Police have said that it's probably a lone wolf.

3. Black lives really do matter

They keep KFC and Popeyes in business.

4. What do you call a Black pig?

Pigga

5. After watching School of Rock, I decided to start a band with the kids in my special needs class.

We call the group Syndrome of a Down.

6. I wonder if the people who were jumping out of the twin towers were just testing for fall damage?

7. The COVID-19 pandemic has had some positive consequences.

For example, the funeral business is booming.

8. What happens when a deer tick bites a bat?

A corona gets its Lyme

9. Blackout Tuesday, is that the day we drink grape juice and eat fried chicken for dinner?

10. Want to hear a joke about a part piece of paper?

Never mind... It's teareble.

11. What did Hitler say to the Jews...

Nothing, cause there dead.

12. What do you call it when you pepper spray a cop

Peppa pig

13. What do you call a gay person being covered in bruises

A muslim killing them with stones

14. Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog.

His name was Ahhhhhhh

15. Breaking news a manatee was mating with another manatee

Never mind it was a really fat woman being raped

16. What's the difference between Cecil and Al Sharpton?

Cecil is an African lion Al Sharpton is a lyin African

17. Did you hear, Covid-19 killed George Floyd

All respirators were already in use at the hospital

18. The only B-word you should ever call a woman is beautiful

Bitches love to be called beautiful

19. It turns out that the police kneed black people, after all.

20. Why do police men go the protests early?

To beat the crowd.

21. What do you call a man in the dark who is following you

A black man with the whitest smile

22. What do you call some one who calls people

A white woman calling the cops on black people named karen

23. Whats the difference between jeffery epstein and a catholic priest

Because one did not kill himself and the other has touched little boys

24. What are the fastest runners

Jewish people getting gasses

25. Help writing joke for alcoholic friends obituary

My friend died this week of complications related to alcoholism. We are writing his obituary which is written with generally a serious tone. But, he was a very funny guy and we think the best way to honor him would be to make a small joke about his issues. This is definitely very crude...but any ideas?

26. How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

12 One to screw it in, one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination, one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination, one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like", one to deconstruct the light bulb itself as being phallic, one to blame men for not changing the bulb, one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it, one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs, one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs, one to advocate that light bulb changers should have wage parity with electricians, one to alert the media that women are now "out-light bulbing" men, and one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.

27. You wonder what a little girl does on christmas day

She wakes up hoping to see a family sitting at the tree getting presents but she is an orhoan and has one present left for her wher eits a baby doll with a string attached to it and she pulls it back and lets the message ring but instead she hears ”Jeffery Epstein didnt kill himself” and then hears ticking afterwards which the orphanage blows up

28. When a black man died, everyone starts stealing and looting

Funny how that works

29. Black lives mattered in the 1800s too

If too many of them died, it would drive the market prices up

30. What's the difference between a girl and a fridge

A fridge doesn't moan when u put meat in it.

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