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avatar ThrowawayButNoMain 6 year.agoWhy doesn’t Santa bring presents to black people?

Because jails haven’t needed chimneys since the holocaust

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

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1. [NSFW] Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?

She started her period. Edit: This joke courtesy of the homeless guy outside the 7-11. I tipped him a beer.

2. How is the NBA like a box of crayons?

The whites are usually pretty useless

3. What's faster than a Jew running from a Nazi?

The Nazi

4. What's the difference between an 18 yr old girl and a washing machine?

When you dump a load in the washer, It will not follow you around for two months.

5. Why is Auschwitz the best hotel in the world?

It got a million stars.

6. What did the rapist say to their victim?

Go ahead, call the police, we'll see who comes first.

7. Did you hear about the black guy who was shot 15 times?

The police say it's the worst case of suicide they've ever seen.

8. What is the difference between a naked white woman and a naked black woman?

One is on the cover of Playboy and one is on the cover of National Geographic.

9. I feel bad for muslims

I feel bad for muslims because they are all portrayed as being angry people I just think they just have a short fuse

10. What do you call a female rapper?

38 Cent

11. How do you get a black person on their knees?

"Oh say can you see..."

12. What do you call a black women who has had 7 abortions?

A crime fighter. __ xpost - r/sickipedia

13. Why did the autistic child not go to the party?

He wasn't invited

14. Why do gay men use ribbed condoms?

Traction in the mud

15. What did the pedophile say after getting out of prison?

"I feel like a kid again!"

16. If girls go to college to get more knowledge and boys go to jupiter to get more stupider, where do transgenders go?

Hell

17. What do black people like to drive?

House prices down.

18. They say a woman's work is never done

that's probably why they get paid less

19. What do Nike and the KKK have in common?

They both make black guys run faster.

20. What's the difference between Santa and the Jews?

Santa goes down the chimney

21. Did you hear the Score of the Egypt vs. Ethiopia soccer game?

Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.

22. School for Blacks

A black guy runs crying home to his mom saying “all the other kids in my class know their ABC’s, but I only got as far as H. Am I stupid?” No, his mom replied. “It's because you're black”. A couple of days later he runs crying home again. “All the other kids know how to count to 100, but I only got to 32. Am I stupid?” No, his mom replied again. “It's because you're black”. The next day he runs home with a big grin on his face saying, “me and the other boys measured our dicks and mine was the biggest. Is it because I'm black?” No, said his mom. “It's because all the kids are 6 years old and you're 29”.

23. Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 6.

It's simple meth.

24. Failed my biology test today. They asked, “What do you find inside cells?”

Apparently “black people” wasn’t the correct answer.

25. Did you know that most 9/11 victims were black?

Especially when they didn't jump.

26. Where do Muslims go when they die?

All over the place.

27. Why are black peoples' eyes red after having sex?

Pepper-spray

28. Why are there no muslims in Star Trek?

Because it's the future.

29. A feather and a nigger fall from a tree, which lands first?

The feather... The nigger was stopped by the rope

30. Whats the most positive thing in a black neighborhood

HIV

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