Lu10netLipton 4 year.agoThis joke got me fired when I worked as a cook. Credit goes to Jackie “The Joke Man” MartlingA husband goes to his wife and says “You’re either going hunting with me, sucking my cock or I’m fucking you in the ass. I’m gonna go get the dogs ready and I’ll be back for your answer.” After a bit of time, he returns to his wife who defiantly says to him “I’m not going hunting and there’s no way you’re fucking me in the ass!” “Alright then, guess you’re sucking my cock.” So she starts to suck him off and quickly spits it out and looks up at him. “Your dick tastes like shit!” “Yeah well, the dogs didn’t want to go hunting either.” Author’s Notes: WOW! Never thought this would get this much feedback. A few clarifications for anyone asking: 1. I was in the back end of the kitchen with a fellow cook during a quieter lunch hour when this happened. The place I was working at had been opened less than a month. We had been swapping jokes for a bit before I let this one loose and instead of it being muffled by the sounds of the deep fryer, grill, etc., it was projected out into the main seating area through the ticket window like a speaker. 2. A customer was the one who ultimately complained to the manager and I was gracefully fired the following day when I walked in to start my shift. I had come from working at a bar previously, so the fact that more sensitive people/families were the ones showing up completely slipped my mind as I was in the back cracking joke with the other chef (a 10+ year veteran of the industry.)The owner was pretty cool with everything all things considered, but explained that they just couldn’t take the risk of something else happening. I even got to say goodbye to everyone before I left, including the head chef who originally hired me, and everyone was really supportive and understanding. 3. I got a new job shortly after in a warehouse and have been much better off since. I make more money, work less hours, have actual benefits and my bosses are WAY less uptight due to the nature of the job. It was the strangest blessing in disguise I’ve ever received as I don’t know how much longer I wouldn’t lasted in the food industry either way. So in the end, everything worked out.
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Woody goes soft when a kid enters the room
to OUCH STOP! rAPE!
A good stroke.
Read them "Little Boy Blue." ^(Works better verbally)
It’s not hard.
... I'd have $1.73
When the student in front of you gets shot, pick up their book.
I would drink it
One of them's a kak blunt, the other...
He spent a night in a warehouse.
Anxiety is the 1st time you can’t do it a 2nd time Panic is the 2nd time you can’t do it the 1st time.
I said it's for kids
They needed two tight ends and a wide receiver.
You can only go One Direction
I at least pretend to be happy in class.
The one with biggest tits!
- It’s called “The Gash Chamber”
Always be yappin'
Scratching at the inside of her coffin.
After a great game, they went for some beers and food. When they were seated in the restaurant, Clinton ordered some BBQ ribs and told the waitress a BJ joke. Obama, who had ordered a tofu burger, got all outraged at Clinton for sexualizing the waitress. Bush ordered chicken-fried steak and kept his mouth shut. After Obama forced Clinton to apologize, the waitress turned to Trump and asked him what he wants to eat. "I'll have a YUUUGGEEE T-bone steak," says Trump. "T for Trump! Medium rare!" "OK," says the waitress. "And what about the vegetable?" Trump looks over at Biden and says "Ah, Just bring him some chicken tenders and an ice cream cone."
Any dudes here who have less hair than their dad think that the name of that brand is phonetically offensive?
..until Mary stubbed her toe one day..
Because his pecker is on his face.
I don’t know but it could pick some fuckin’ strawberries I’ll tell ya!
Both use their fingers if it's under 10
“Hold mah beer and watch this!”
“Wanna come back to my place for twattails?
Enjoy some pin the tail on the airplane, twin tower margaritas etc
more jokes Here waiting for you
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