bsISS1243 4 year.agoA guy in a bar bets the bartender $50 that he can lick his eyeballThe bartender agrees The man takes his glass eye out, and bites it The bartender angrily gives the man his money The man bets the bartender $500 dollars that he can bite his other eyeball too The bartender agrees to the bet, because the man was not blind The man pulls out his dentures and lightly chomps them on his other eyeball The bartender is fuming, but gives the man his money The man then orders a beer, and walks away The man walks back, and bets the bartender $1000 that he can piss directly into a shot glass while running, with 2 attempts The bartender knows for a fact that this is impossible, and agrees to the bet On attempt 1, the man gets piss everywhere, and none in the shot glass The bartender smirks, with high hopes On attempt 2, the man once again pisses everywhere in the bar, except for the glass The bartender jumps up and down in excitement, knowing that he has won Then another man in the corner of the bar screams 'FUCK' When the bartender asks what the problem is, the man says, "That asshole just bet me $10,000 that he could piss all over the bar, and that you would be happy" Edit: Thanks for the upvotes and awards, and I did not mean to rip off a movie. Goodnight Edit 2: Just woke up to 40k upvotes. Wow! Thanks so much
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Wipe your dick clean on the curtains.
The Drake Equation
Because they got a history of separating the colors
The jew. It's always business before pleasure
by saying yes
He joined the Que Que Que
Nothing, you already told that bitch twice.
A rake.
The tire doesn't sing when you put chains around it
They went through 100 stories in mere seconds
Bill Cosby gave them a drink first
America: Now do Palestine! Biden: OK. Ukraine now has permission to strike Palestine, too!
The Bartender says “That’s pretty cool, where’d ya get that?” The parrot then says “in the jungle, there’s millions of em!”
He told me I was a paranoid racist, well he never actually said that. But I know what the Black Cunt was thinking...
the most when theyre all working for free.
Little Seizures
Anyone that can run, jump, or swim is already in the US
One per order
One of them collapsed and stopped breathing. The other one calls 911. Operator: How can I help you? Man: My friend just fell over dead in the woods! Operator: Calm down sir, I can help you. First make sure he's actually dead. (Silence, then a loud bang) Man: Okay..... Now what?
Not much, just some minor similarities
A snow blower.
Because they had to jump an entire wall to get here.
They could make you a square on the AIDS Quilt.
The hooked can wash her crack and sell it again
"I can, Sir...." WRONG! It was "Breast."
Gonorrhea
Grounded up and stored in a freezer
A pilot u racist bitch.
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