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Need a break from serious politics? These clever, lighthearted political jokes deliver laughs without the divisiveness – perfect for any party!

avatar 8urfiat 5 year.agoHow do you get Donald Trump to change a lightbulb?
You tell him Barack Obama installed it.
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avatar Tristan_Gabranth 5 year.agoWhy won't the Republicans impeach Trump?
Because they insist on carrying a baby to full term
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avatar k_agius 6 year.agoOne day in the future, Donald Trump has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. “You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Donald thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it, was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. Nixon kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell. "No," Donald said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and it would ruin my hair. I don't think I could do that all day long.” The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it, was Ronald Reagan with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder.” “I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day”, commented Donald. The devil opened a third door. Through it, Donald saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Donald looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said, “Okay: Monica, you're free to go." Edit: for those who keep bashing me for reposting: I’ve already stated that I don’t use Reddit enough to know that. If you didn’t like it, move on. Also, I’m Australian and don’t know very much about American history: I just know about the punchline and thought that it was funny. Also, thank you to those who were kind enough to give me my first gold and silver!
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avatar ThePhoneBook 6 year.agoHow many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They only *talk* about change.
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avatar 6 year.agoHow many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place. (Edit: Folks, take a breath. It is a joke.) (Edit: Thanks for the silver, gold, and plats)
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avatar CrankyOptimist 6 year.agoWhat's the difference between Donald Trump and a worm?
One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.
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avatar WalkinSteveHawkin 6 year.agoHow do you get Trump to change a lightbulb?
Tell him Obama put it in
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avatar hansolo 6 year.agoOne day in the future, Donald Trump has a heart-attack and dies.
He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil." You're on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Donald thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Barack Obama and a large pool of water. Barack kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell. "No," Donald said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and it would ruin my hair. I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, this is no good; I've got his problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Donald. The devil opened a third door. Through it, Donald saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Donald looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said.......... "OK, Monica, you're free to go."
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avatar 7 year.agoWhat do Apple and Donald Trump have in common?
I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
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